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Single Purpose

Changing Churches

From: Lee


I’ve been experiencing a spiritual perfect storm of sorts in the last couple of years—in a good way. Ten years ago, I helped plant a church and I’ve remained active there ever since. I received solid biblical training there and I love the people, but I’ve sensed a growing restlessness the past couple of years. Couple that with a very small pool of singles from which to find a wife and my restlessness has continued to grow.  


As I began to think about changing churches, I heard about a church in my city that intrigued me. They have a heavy emphasis on being involved in the arts community and in forming bonds with people who generally won’t go near a church. I was involved in the arts before I became a Christian nearly 17 years ago and I remember how gun-shy I was of the church. In fact, God used the arts (Christian radio) to draw me to the faith. So the idea of being involved in such a church excited me.


I began to investigate the church that reached out to people like me and I learned that if I started going there I’d be one of the older members. Many are in their late 20s and early 30s. That didn’t thrill me, but at the same time, being around vibrant youth can be contagious. I learned that it’s a self described “messy” church—one in which people are honest about their struggles and in spurring one another on in repentance. And I learned that the pool of singles is considerably larger.


So, after prayer, consultation with an elder at the church I helped plant, and a little trepidation (can you tell I don’t like change?), I began attending the artsy church a few months ago. It’s everything I expected. Tonight I’m headed to my first small group meeting and I’m really looking forward to meeting new people and finding out more about what makes the church tick.


I bet I’m not alone. Surely some of you are in transition right now too. Singles are notorious for changing churches—often because they are hoping to find a spouse. I don’t see anything unbiblical about that. In fact, I’ve already tackled the notion that I believe the scriptures teach that singles are supposed to be active in a search for a spouse and there’s no better place to find one than in church.


If you are in transition right now, I’d love to hear from you about your journey. And I highly encourage you to not give in to the temptation to stop going to church altogether. I’ve heard all the excuses, but they don’t supersede the many biblical commands that can only be adhered to in a church—commands such as: obeying your spiritual leaders (Heb. 13:17), calling for elders when you are sick (James 5:14), tithing (Matt. 23:23), and so many others. And don’t miss the fact that Paul addressed specific churches in his epistles.


The church, as messy as it is, is God’s designated agent for advancing his kingdom here on earth. Stay involved and experience the blessing of being used by him in your local church.

Print      Email to a Friend    posted on Tuesday, September 22, 2009 6:06 PM

Comments on this post

# RE: Changing Churches

I, too, have struggled with changing churches. My husband and I have felt a restlessness for the last year or so to go deeper in our relationship with God and haven't felt that in our current church we were growing. We have found another Church which is also made up of very young people. We are in our late 40's. Our 19 years daughters, however, love it!!! We have not had good feed back from our current church, in fact, we were told that we were not respecting authority. We want to be part of a church family, we also want to grow in our walk with the lord. Interested to hear your comments and to obtain your prayers.
Left by Cindy on Sep 25, 2009 12:41 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

I'm in my early 60s and over the years one thing I've come to understand and be at peace with is the fact that God is always on the move. On the one hand, while the Bible says God never changes, that's a reference to His character and WHO He is. But God has always moved forward, slowly and steadily working and bringing about His plan for mankind. I, too, do not like change, but have had to come to terms with the fact that times change, my life changes, and, yes, occasionally I even have to change churches. To me, that's a sign that God is working in your life and wanting to "move" you to the next level of your relationship with Him. So, don't be afraid of change...embrace it and ask God to show you His perfect will for your life!
Left by Anonymous on Sep 25, 2009 1:26 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

Thru the years I have seen good intentioned Christians go from one church to another. It is somber the number of people who leave because they think they have heard from the Holy Spirit, when in many cases it is their longing for attention and unfortunately also for their need for power. For some this pattern continues thru out their lives. There are many excuses for this problem. I will name a few. The pastor or priest isn't right with God or they quelch the Holy Spirit, money,the worship team is or is not up to date with new music (as if they area broadway musicaldin leadership is lacking inspiration and the list goes on. For some it is as the author of this article expressed a need to have fellowship with other singles. What? I thought we are attending services to have corporate worship with other believers young, old, married or single. We are to be focused on the Lord and not our needs. If in fact the Holy Spirit is touching your heart to leave it should be strictly His leading
Left by mary19481 on Sep 25, 2009 3:47 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

Hi Lee,I hear what you are saying about changing church I was thinking about that just this week. The church I go is starting to feel like something is missing. I am divorced since 1993 and thinking I would love to find a Godly woman fall in love and get married. Turning 50 makes me think I need to get on the ball. Thanks for your message and God Bless. I will be praying you find a wife which God says you find a good thing.
Left by Jon on Sep 25, 2009 7:41 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

I can understand this as well. Due to I am also looking for an local church due to there as been so many changes in my life, one is being single again after 22 years. I too want a mate who is Christian. My last church most of the members were either married, or in their 20's or 30's. I am 44 years old. So I will find a church not just for a mate but can preach the word of Jesus as well.
Left by yolie91762a on Sep 27, 2009 12:26 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

I've been a Christian for 17 yrs and I have been a member of 3 different churches.Where I come from,pastors don't appreciate their members moving from one church to the other and they try to fight it, it's a small island.
I had the privilege to be and work very close to my pastors.My very first church and pastor laid the foundations of my faith, the second one allowed me to discover my gifts and talents,experiment and mess up big time =)and this one is where I have the opportunity to function in my giftings and grow even more spiritually.
I don't think changing churches is a bad thing.Sometimes you outgrow one and move to the next,the important thing is to be part of a church family and let God use you. The hardest part for me is leaving. I want to be loyal to my church and the leaders, but then again I know it's time to move on ... The key is to pray and ask God for guidance and the right timing. You might be an answered prayer to your new church
Left by Mimosin on Sep 30, 2009 11:40 AM

# RE: Changing Churches

Thanks to all of you who shared your stories about finding a (different) church. Making a move is never easy and it should always be done prayerfully. God has different plans for each of us. Sometimes his plans include change and sometimes his plans include lifetime membership in one church.

I did not change churches simply to find a spouse. Although again, I don't think that would be unbiblical since I believe we are called to be active in our search for a spouse. I changed for a variety of reasons--some of which I won't discuss online. I love the people in my previous church and it was a hard decision to make.
Left by Lee Warren on Oct 02, 2009 12:49 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

My wife and I recently changed churches ourselves. I am an early childhood teacher and a volunteer for the boyscouts of america. The church we were going had very few children and I had a problem with that, i tried to give it time but no one wanted to change so when we moved out of town I went looking for a church with kids. I found it and my wife came shortly afterwards. Now I am working with a large youth group and awanas on Wednesday nights. I feel so much more fed now. I would not recommend church hopping because you don't find what you need, but sometimes you have to go elswhere no matter how much you love the church you are at if you don't feel fed. My recommendation would be to pray dilligently about it first. The deciever can disrupt your life and keep you from your best but if you follow the lord he will make your path straight. God bless you and we will continue to pray for you. I wish you well.
Left by pappa_e on Oct 23, 2009 4:31 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

I have been struggling with changing churches for nearly 3 years now. My husband has not even considered it until recently. We belong to a Bible-believing church with a structure of small groups and larger meetings. The commitment level is high and with my husband's irregular work schedule, we feel that we can not be as committed as is necessary to be on the same level as far as involvements and relationships go.
While I can't say that we would be leaving with all conflict resolved, I have struggled less with the conflict over the past three years.
The rub is that this church places a huge emphasis on relationships and in it's current structure, my husband and I are in a position to be outsiders for the foreseeable future. I have had a couple of conversations that confirm that this is in fact how it would be.
I want to feel free to pursue other churches. I'm involved in ministry so I feel like I'm not leaving the church as a taker. I wish the decision were clearer.
Left by Emily on Aug 20, 2010 11:42 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

My husband and I are struggling with this very issue right now. Spiritually we are starving. A new pastor was brought on board a year ago, and since that time our current church has lost approximately 400 members, roughly half the congregation. They have eliminated many areas of service and have become very "theme" based. I guess at 38 I'm just very old fashioned and out dated because I thought the church already had a "theme". I thought the "theme" was Jesus Christ, the Savior and the good news of His blood atonement, Resurrection and His return! I've been told by one of the church staff ministers that I am just being "resistant to change" and that I need to "step up the game". However, after a year of trying to conform, we are increasingly unsatisfied and still starving spiritually.
We have many discouraging our leaving.
I wish I could be certain it's God prompting the desire to find a new church home, and not our flesh seeking to step back into our comfort zone.
Left by K M Duna on Oct 10, 2010 11:02 PM

# RE: Changing Churches

I need some advice. I'm 21 i been thinking about changing to an English church. I am currently in a spanish speaking church. And i been in spanish speaking churches all my life. But i kinda feel the need to be in an English church. Because English is my first language. And i Can understand Better. I do speak spanish but not the way my parrents do. I am mexican american.But What has realy got me thinking more about this. Is because in a preaching at church they preached about preparing our future for our kids. To teach them morals and to teach them the way of the Christain Faith. Not to expect School or anyware to teach them that. And sometimes i find it hard to understand Certain big words in spanish that i am not familiar with. And then i think about when I have kids how much harder would that be. And if i do Become Something more in that church. It would be very hard then to do the change. What do you think??
Left by John_1991 on Jun 26, 2012 1:34 AM