Bearing with Quirkiness

From Lee:

 

I like cold potato chips, cold peanut butter, cold cookies, and cold Pop Tarts—so they all go straight into the refrigerator after I make a grocery store run. Sometimes I put pepper on vanilla pudding, but I have to be in the mood for it. I sleep with the television or radio on, but I keep both of them off when I’m working. I like my house to be cold and dark; one friend says it is like a cave. And I’m sure I have a bunch more quirks that don’t come readily to mind.

I bet you do too.

 

But do you ever worry about revealing your quirks while you are dating someone, thinking that he or she might reject you as a result? Or maybe you are more like me—anxious to get your quirks out in the open as quickly as possible in a preemptive strike so you won’t have to deal with rejection over your quirks later on.

 

Let’s turn it around. Do you look for “unacceptable” quirks in people when you are dating? Or do you subscribe to a cumulative quirks limit? Once he or she hits it, you are gone. I’m not talking about being incompatible because of lifestyle choices. And I’m not talking about sinful choices. I’m talking about a person’s odd habits. My trusty dictionary software says that a quirk is just that—“a strange attitude or habit.”

 

The Bible has something to say about dealing with such things. Colossians 3:12-13 says that since we are free in Christ, then we are to “put on then, as God’s chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another . . .”

 

Ever since becoming a Christian, I’ve been intrigued with this call to bear with one another. It’s so unnatural. In fact, it takes supernatural strength from on high to practice it, but indeed, as Christians we have that.

 

I love what Matthew Henry said about the notion of bearing with one another: “Mutual forbearance, in consideration of the infirmities and deficiencies under which we all labour: Forbearing one another. We have all of us something which needs to be borne with, and this is a good reason why we should bear with others in what is disagreeable to us. We need the same good turn from others which we are bound to show them.”

 

If we are supposed to bear with the quirkiness of fellow believers, how much more should we bear with the quirkiness of someone whom we love and hope to marry at some point?

Print     Email to a Friend    posted on Thursday, September 10, 2009 3:41 PM

Comments on this post

# RE: Bearing with Quirkiness

Julie here...I am so glad Lee brought up quirkiness! Important to distinguish the difference between quirkiness and red flags. Quirks are what make people and life interesting. For instance, let me share some of my weird quirks. I hoard chapstick and toilet paper (as in, buy quantities to store up). I like to mix plain yogurt in with just about everything. I can't stand the sound of silver wear rubbing together, or using sterling silverware. When I'm just working from home, I select my clothes based on how comfortable they will be to sleep in that night (I get too lazy to change when I go to bed so late after writing). My husband has some funny quirks too. He chews bananas loudly! He wears these deplorable "grandpa shoes" and a "train conductor" hat around the house (and sometimes sneaks out in public in them!) So you see...quirks are part of life! Thanks Lee!
Left by Ferwerda on Sep 13, 2009 2:07 PM

# RE: Bearing with Quirkiness

Interesting topic indeed. Well my take on this is, the one for you will appreciate you quirks and all, which i'm sure we can all say "Amen" on that one. Personally i would enjoy not having to hide my quirks until later in a date because this is like concealing a huge part of who you are, so though it may be a quirk, it's what makes one that much more interesting, or maybe unique. My lifelong quirk is my love for ketchup, and how is seems to wonderfully compliment all things savoury, eggs and all:)
Left by Terri on Sep 14, 2009 6:45 PM

# RE: Bearing with Quirkiness

when my husband and I were dating, we were both on our best behaviour the first couple of months. Then after we got used to being with each other everyday, we both let our gaurd down and became our true selves. It think what helped the transition is that we became really good friends while dating such that it was easy to just be who we are. And during marriage we have accepted each other just the way we are.
He is so neat and never leaves anything lying around...,will trash his junk mail as soon as he gets it. I hang on to my junk mail just incase I will need it later ( ...I know this is very illogical). He used to use the same knife for the peanut butter and jelly until I made a huge deal about it and he stopped).( sometimes he forgets but I let it go cos he tries so hard to remember ...haha). I love to sleep in, he likes to get up early and be on the go even on weekends.
We have both come to love the quarks about each other and thats what makes each unique.
Left by ConstanceMwaniki on Sep 24, 2009 1:50 PM