From Julie
These days, you don’t have to go out into the world to find sexual temptations and sin. You can find it at your weekly fellowship—sitting in the pews, serving on the worship team, leading small groups, and even occasionally visiting the pastor’s office (read the news). In my personal experience as a single, I found the single men I encountered in the church no different in their convictions on matters of sexual purity than men outside the church (I’m sure the same can go for women).
Sexual temptations reach into the dark corners of every aspect ministry in the church today, and unless we’re armed with truth, we will be easy prey. By recognizing a few of Satan’s favorite lies, singles can protect themselves against these delusional traps.
#1 – The Lie of Entitlement
One of the “nice” Christian guys I met when I was single was Dan. Dan was involved in his church and claimed to be passionate about loving and obeying God, including in matters of purity. I couldn’t believe everything we had in common spiritually. No matter what I said about my convictions, beliefs, or feelings about God and the Bible, Dan said, “Me too!” Now that I think about it, I probably could have said something like, “I think it was so sad that Noah and all those animals drowned in the flood,” and Dan probably would have said, “Me too!”
The first time I spent significant time around Dan, the pressure began—pressure for sex! At first I resisted. But his continuous rationalizations began to wear me down. “What’s the big deal? We’re adults and God made us with certain needs. He doesn’t expect us to wait until we’re married. We deserve to be happy and to get our needs met now! You’re way too legalistic!” Pretty soon, Dan had me feeling guilty for having convictions to stay pure!
Joseph: A Case Study for Entitlement
In Genesis 39, we read about Joseph working in Potiphar’s home, the captain of the palace guard. Potiphar (I wonder what his friends called him for short?) placed a lot of trust in Joseph because he saw that God was with him. Remember that Joseph had recently been sold by his brothers and had every reason to feel bitter and undeserving of his new way of life as a slave. Feeling undeserving is always an easy hop over to the evil twin of feeling deserving (a.k.a entitled).
So young, hot Joseph, hormones raging, is dusting the end tables in the luxury living room one day when Potiphar’s young hot wife comes onto him. It would not be difficult to imagine some of the thoughts running through Joseph’s mind: What’s the big deal? I’m a man—I have needs! She wants me. I’ll probably be working here as a slave for the rest of my life and miss out on sex. Besides, I deserve a little pleasure after what my brothers did to me! Sure, it would be a sin, but then again, why be so legalistic about it when I should get something out of all I’ve suffered? Maybe Joseph didn’t have any of those thoughts, but for many of us in that situation, it would have been difficult not to!
So what does Joseph really do? “But Joseph refused [her]. ‘Look,’ he told her, ‘my master trusts me with everything in his entire household. No one here has more authority than I do! He has held back nothing from me except you, because you are his wife. How could I ever do such a wicked thing? It would be a great sin against God’” (verses 8-9).
Unfortunately for Joseph, doing the right thing cost him at least a couple years in the slammer because he was falsely accused. But because of his good character, refusing to act on the lies of entitlement, God used everything for his benefit and made him a great ruler who was able to save his whole nation from famine (he got a wife, too!).
As for me, I didn’t do so well with Dan, eventually letting him wear down my resolve to stay a “reborn virgin” until marriage (I had been married before). But I’m happy to say that I learned a lesson from my failure, and I wasn’t so easily duped the next time. In fact, after Dan, I recommitted myself to purity and stayed that way until my second marriage. Aren’t God’s mercies and second chances wonderful? He’s so patient and good with our learning experiences!
See you in a couple weeks with #2 in our series.