From Lee:
My uncle lost his wife to pancreatic cancer a few years ago. It stunned everybody in our family. She’d been so healthy and vibrant until then. After she died, I went to visit my uncle one day and he told me that one of things he missed most about her is the time they spent together in the morning reading the Bible and praying.
Even though I’ve never had the chance to share such intimacy with a wife, just hearing my uncle speak about it pricked something deep inside me and I felt like I could identify with his loss. He felt it looking backward. I felt it looking forward.
As I drove home that afternoon, I wondered about my own circumstances. If I were married, what book of the Bible would I be leading my wife through at that exact moment? Had I been in the Word enough before I was married to be trustworthy with my handling of it after I was married? Would I go through dry spells with the Word just like I had done so as a single person—if so, how would I handle that as a husband?
These are probably natural questions that most single Christian men ponder internally. None of us set out to be rotten husband material. We have good intentions. We want to lead. We want to be consistent. But we fall short. We also often have wrong motives; we’ll do almost anything to impress a woman who has captured our attention—including giving the appearance of being strong in the faith when we are not. I’m completely confident that most Christian women can see right through this though, and that’s a good thing.
Rather than pretending and wondering and fretting over whether we’ll be strong enough to lead a potential wife in the future, why not draw close to Christ and to his Word this very day—not to gain a wife, but instead to walk in the light? Putting our relationship with Christ before anything and anyone else will anchor us when the storms come.
I went to visit my uncle in the hospital over the weekend. He told me he isn’t able to go to church anymore. His health isn’t the greatest. His spirit, however, seems to be quite content. When I asked him how he’s doing, he said he’s doing well, and I believed him—at least in the spiritual sense. Then he did what he always does—with genuine warmth he asked about the various family members he hasn’t seen for a while. He’s always concerned about other people.
I see the fruit of the Spirit at work in his life. And, I could be wrong, but I also see loneliness in his eyes. Life isn’t the same without his wife. There’s no glossing over that fact. But since he was genuinely rooted in the things of God, he’s content with his lot—even though he wouldn’t have chosen it—until Christ calls him home.
For me, as a single person, this was a beautiful illustration of what my life should look like in twenty or thirty years—regardless of whether I ever marry or not. And my life will only look that way if I bask in the presence of Christ now, and every day, until Christ calls me home too.
Will you join me?