Thursday, December 31, 2009
If you catch me on a bad day, you might hear me tell a friend I don’t think marriage is going to happen for me. I battle the stigma of being 43 and never married. Surely something must be wrong with me. I’m too immature, too self absorbed, too unattractive—or some combination of the three.
Wednesday, December 23, 2009
I met Carrie, a divorced mother of four, about six years ago in a Sunday school class I taught for women. As I began to learn about her heart for God, a deep connection formed between us that has continued to this day. Carrie has a powerful testimony for singles in that, for the past several years, she’s been “doing it God’s way” by embracing the “nos” along the way, seeing them as divine appointments for her good, not excessive restrictions.
Thursday, December 17, 2009
One of my favorite things to do each December is to read two or three books from my “to be read” stack. Yeah, the month is always filled with lots of activities, but I still find I have more down time at night than during most of the rest of the year. Small groups at church usually go on hiatus; television shows are in re-runs for the most part; and I purposely choose to just slow down to enjoy the season.
Thursday, December 10, 2009
It happens every year. Seas of lonely singles and hurting people find that the holidays only magnify their pain and feelings of isolation, like tearing the scab off an unhealed wound. While families and couples gather in plain view for festive togetherness and merry-making memories, the ache for many left out in the cold is vast and raw. If you are one of the hurting masses, what can possibly soothe the pain of the dreaded holidays?
Thursday, December 03, 2009
I can't tell you how many times I've had that conversation with a woman over the years after she got into my car. I've always had this fear of being like one of the guys from her past--the type of guy who just charges ahead without taking her wants and desires into account. But it's deeper than that. I didn't want to be another guy on her jerk list, so I became ultra-nice guy.
Wednesday, November 25, 2009
Recently, I had the great pleasure of meeting the very talented musician, Matt Brouwer, at a conference I attended in Houston where he led worship. This past October, Matt received the Covenant Award for “Fan Choice Artist of the Year.” At 31, Matt is still dating, and learning to look for the “small, good things” in life.
Thursday, November 19, 2009
Last Thanksgiving, I was in a reflective mood. Maybe it was the aroma of turkey wafting through the house. Maybe it was the notion of watching football without worrying about anything else (hey, more than one man has been inspired by a football game!). But I tend to think it had more to do with the simple realization that life is good, and I needed to thank God for it.
Thursday, November 12, 2009
One of my all time favorite seasons in my relationship with God was when I was single after divorce. Bear in mind this was after 13 years of marriage. I had two young girls and had been a stay at home mom for seven years. I faced the insecurity of going back to work to try to support myself, and at this lonely period many of my church friends had deserted me. But, what should have been a dark, gloomy time turned into the greatest season of blessings of my life. How is this possible?
Thursday, November 05, 2009
The small group I’m in at church just branched out and started a new small group—attracting several new people and a few I had already met. At our first meeting last week, the leader handed us two index cards and asked us to write down a question on each one. Each question was supposed to be an ice breaker—something a person might ask a stranger to get to know a little about the person. After we wrote our questions down, we handed the index cards back to the small group leader. He shuffled them
Tuesday, October 27, 2009
One way that my husband and I vicariously satisfy our bug for travel, competition, and adventure is by watching the TV reality series, The Amazing Race. It’s a contest where teams of two travel around the world, completing challenges and feats arranged by the producers in each country they visit. They may have to do things like rappel down a skyscraper, eat fried scorpions, learn and perform a traditional dance, milk a camel, or even bungy jump off a high bridge.
Unfortunately, those are not the only challenges they encounter. Along the way they might get flat tires, run out of gas, lose precious time from traffic jams or clueless taxi drivers, run out of money, lose passports, or even be assigned an uncooperative animal. They frequently have trouble navigating maps, following directions, and communicating amid language barriers. In addition, they constantly battle vindictive competitors.
Why would anyone set themselves up for this kind of intimidation and aggravation? What would keep someone going in a grueling contest where they face exhaustion and paralyzing fears in order to progress? In the end, it is solely and simply about one thing: The PRIZE. $1,000,000! Now that’s motivation. Who couldn’t use a million bucks?
The Christian life is a lot like The Amazing Race in many ways. If we want The Prize, we are going to have to willingly endure the obstacles, trials, and difficulties along the way—and do it in such a way that we become victors in faith instead of victims of our circumstances!
Paul frequently mentioned the prize and living in such a way that we not get disqualified or quit. He was not speaking of salvation, which is a free gift by faith in Jesus Christ. Paul spoke of the future prize that is given for overcomers of the faith—those who live an obedient, fear-defying, faith-based, sacrificial life in Christ under the continuous guidance of the Holy Spirit. What is the coveted prize and reward? Check out a summary in Hebrews 11:32-25:
“For time will fail me if I tell of Gideon, Barak, Samson, Jephthah, of David and Samuel and the prophets, who by faith conquered kingdoms, performed acts of righteousness, obtained promises, shut the mouths of lions, quenched the power of fire, escaped the edge of the sword, from weakness were made strong, became mighty in war, put foreign armies to flight...and others were tortured, not accepting their release, so that they might obtain a better resurrection...” (if you wish to know more about the “better resurrection,” you can read more about it on my website at www.JulieFerwerda.com).
Though there is a future reward, surely there also is a reward NOW for living as an overcomer. God promises things like peace, purpose, and provision for those who dare to live by faith and obedience (Jer. 29:11, Rom. 8:6, Matt. 6:33). He promises abundant life NOW to those who stay continuously connected to the Vine (John 10:10 and John 15:5).
One of the great threats to claiming your prize (both now and later) is fear. As a single person pursuing the life of an overcomer—an Amazing Racer—I want to encourage you to learn to face your fears so that they will not disqualify you from the race or make you give up. Fears at this stage in life can come in many forms:
· Fear of failure at relationships
· Fear of being alone
· Fear of not living out your dreams
· Fear of facing God-orchestrated leaps of faith alone
· Fear of not being able to survive financially
· Fear of missing out on God’s best plan for your life
What will get you and I through the paralyzing fears on our way to being overcomers while living a life of great faith? What will help us live in the prize now and get us on our way to receiving the prize later? It is getting a proper view of the immensity, the power, and the goodness of our God.
There’s a great biblical account that contrasts the difference between overcomers (Amazing Racers) and the overcome. When the Lord was leading the Israelites into the Promised Land (their Prize!), He sent 12 spies to get a report. Two came back and said, “Let's go at once to take the land. We can certainly conquer it!" But ten came back and said, “All the people we saw were huge…giants even! We felt like grasshoppers next to them. We can't go up against them—they are stronger than we are!" (Numbers 13:30-33).
What was the difference in the two reports? Two focused on the power and might of the unlimited God they serve and the reward He offered. Ten saw themselves as grasshoppers. Two saw only mere men milling about. Ten saw giants bigger than their “god” standing in the way of victory.
Remember that you can’t run and win an Amazing Race while being consumed or controlled by fear. In fact, the way you handle your fears will determine your destiny. If you panic and try to take control, you will only multiply your fears and your problems. But if you apply yourself to learning the truth about how big is your God, you will overcome.
Today remind yourself that you are no grasshopper with God. Wherever He is leading you, there is a prize involved, but first you must overcome in His power.