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Mommy and the Joyful Three

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Erin James is the author of a mom blog on whattoexpect.com. She is a mother of three whose passion is helping other moms and dads with positive parenting.

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When Your Child Hates School


What do you do when your child does not like school?

My youngest daughter struggled with going to preschool from the start. I eventually removed her from the class because it seemed more like torture than fun. We are planning to place her in another school. Still, I can’t help but think maybe she is just not ready.

Sadly, my eldest daughter seems to have caught the same attitude toward school. Every morning she fights with me about going. She says she does not feel well or that other children are mean to her. The excuses are the same every single school day. It made me if perhaps I was doing something wrong until a friend mentioned that her child feels the same way about school.

I have to admit it is a long day for my daughter, more than eight hours and then she has plenty of home work every night. For first grade, this seems like a lot. At the same time, I know the value of a good education. We tried homeschool, but that is just something I can’t handle on my own.  She is better off in the hands of trained educators.

In trying to understand why my oldest daughter is against school, I am helping to make the experience better for her. Here are some of the helpful strategies we have used:

Contact your child’s teachers and/or principal to determine if your child is in fact being bullied at school. If it is true, they will become distracted from learning and likely develop insecurities.


Also, address possible learning disabilities if your child is having a hard time grasping lessons at school. As a child, I had learning disabilities and felt very out of place as I had a hard time keeping up. Let your children know that they are OK and that we all have our own strengths and weaknesses. Feeling as if you are not able to do the things your peers do academically can be very hard on a child. Ease their stress by working with them through their problem.

Perhaps your child is more advanced than his or her classmates and is simply bored. If this is the case, it is best to discuss the possibilities of moving up a grade or a program for “gifted” students.

Talk to your children about their day. At dinner, ask them what they liked the most about the day. If they say it was terrible, challenge them to recall a few good things, maybe a new friend or a good grade, or even a fun bus ride home.

Be careful not to feed into their bad day! This is very important. Do not agree with them about not liking school. Support them; but do not condone gossip or badmouthing classmates or teachers.

Pray with them in the morning and at night about their school day. Show them God cares and that you are invested in what they do.

Have them make a chart of goals they want to accomplish in the future. Then, explain how education and God’s favor can help to get them there someday.

Does your child struggle with going to school? If so, how do you handle it?

Print      Email to a Friend    posted on Monday, March 26, 2012 3:56 PM

Comments on this post

# RE: When Your Child Hates School

As an educator, it's difficult to see a child struggling in school. It's even more difficult when thee child hates school. Here are some suggestions: Visit your child's classroom. Volunteer or come have lunch. Peek through the clasroom door if a visit would upset your child. Make an appoinment with your child's teacher. Ask specific questions about your child's friends. Who does she talk to? Sit by at lunch? Play with at recess? How does she interact with the teacher? If this doesn't help go to the school counselor and ask for help. If you think it is a teacher issue an you can't resolve it, then go to principal.
You can also ask the counselor about their gifted program. There are federal and state guidelines that must be followed.
Finally, invited some of her classmates to a cookie party or some fun activity. Be mindful to invite all the girls, not just a few. But you don't have to ask te whole class. Watch the iteractions. Kids need help in socal relationships. Continue to pray.
Left by Drmot on Mar 31, 2012 9:53 AM