<< Not Controlled by Homosexuality | Blog Home | Earthly Father vs Heavenly Father >>

Born Gay?

Being attracted to the same sex was just as normal and natural to me as it was for a man and woman to be attracted to each other.  I did not want to be drawn to the same sex, in fact, I do not think anybody feels elated with the discovery of their homosexual feelings, but for me it was all I had ever known.

I had a conversation with God that went something like this: God, I am trying to be something I am not.  If homosexuality is really wrong, then please take these intense desires away from me!!!  Please, in my heart of hearts, I do not want to be gay, but this is all I have ever known and it feels so right!  

The conclusion here is if being attracted to the same sex is all I have ever known, then I must have been created gay. 

Here are my thoughts about why we struggle at such a very young age:
I do not believe God created homosexuals, but I do believe a person can be born with homosexual struggles.  We are all born into sin.  Babies when they are in the womb respond to their mothers and outside stimuli.  I think one can be wounded in the womb.  Then after we are born, as little children we are great observers, but lousy interpreters.  Here is an example of what I mean.

A woman was pushing her little girl in a grocery cart one day.  A person came up to her an asked her if she wanted to buy some candy to help support retarded children.  The mother said she would be glad to donate some money.  She bought the candy and immediately gave it to her daughter.  Very upset, the child looked at her mother and asked if she was retarded.  

This precious, innocent little girl had observed the whole conversation, but because she was so young she did not interpret correctly what was going on.  She actually thought she was retarded.

Dr. Del Tackett of Focus on the Family states:  “What we believe in the present is determined in our past.”  This mother in the story did not mean to hurt her child in anyway, but her daughter took into her spirit she was retarded.  Some wounds are more overt. 

Our wounded hearts start getting wounded at very young ages.  Why, because parents are not perfect and because satan is after each one of us from the time of our conception.  Someone once said,”If parents were perfect we would not need God.”

I need my Jesus every day.  This is not the struggle I would have chosen.  After I got over being so angry with God, this struggle has brought me into an intimate relationship with Jesus.  Through prayer and counseling, He has been faithful to heal wounds I did not even remember receiving as a very young child.

To all those who feel like they were created gay-- this is a lie.  Born with deep, deep painful emotional wounds that can be healed-- this is truth.  I struggled all my life, but did not reach out for help until I was in my 30’s.  Do not wait.  No matter how old you are Jesus wants to set you free.  God bless you all and continue the good fight. 

Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson

Print     Email to a Friend    posted on Thursday, January 22, 2009 5:29 PM

Comments on this post

# RE: Born Gay?

My niece (she just started going to Christian church and she is 18 yrs old) has a gay freind and she feels it is normal because he was born that way (he has told her that). They are very close friends and he is a wonderful person, my problem is that I'm not sure how to explain to my niece that God did not make her friend gay and how she can help him change. My niece feels it is okay for him to be gay. Can someone give me some advice on how I can explain to my niece that God does not want us to be gay - I don't want to hurt her and her friend feelings.
Left by Delmi on Jan 23, 2009 3:14 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

Sydney,I'm not feeling good right now but I've been reading you "articles for a long time now.Not only has my son gone into homosexuality-he's 23, but me(his 47 year old mother)has struggled with bi-sexuality off and on for 31 years. Saved at 32 years old,one of my greatest prayers was that neither of my kids would suffer this way,as I have.I didn't have a normal "Christian"family-Bibles,yes,but gifts of the Spirit,demons,etc.,no.As I said,I am not doing well right now.In 1999,I rejected God again,committed sin-with a man,and ruined any testimony I had with my kids-my daughter is in prison-my son announced he was "gay"around 12 or 13 and I had no idea what was going on!! I thought I was the only one at this time who had had same-sex problems-I didn't know anything and he has been gone for many years off and on-"gay",he says(I personally only ever use Homosexual-lesbian-bisexual).By the time I repented,I had almost gone completely back to same-sex "things",but "bi".Generational wound?
Left by janetfc on Jan 23, 2009 4:08 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

This the conclusion that i came to as well with the thing the people (gay people) saying that they are born gay, as being ridiculous. Note I'm not gay nor have ever have been. just a Born Again Christian who sought to understand why people would say that they were born gay and getting a bit annoyed by those who say that's natural, and ending up with in a way that they are only partially right in that aspect of 'natural'. They are born into sin, so if they say that they were born that way they are actually only stating that sin is natural and that they are totally involved in natural sin, that to me is the ONLY way that homosexuality is natural... natural sin.
Left by Paul on Jan 23, 2009 4:37 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

Hello Sydney, I am so glad that you are delivered. Unbeknowest to me I married a man that was on the downlow and he had AIDS. When he told me that he was gay I tried to get him to turn to God. He refuse and later died from complications of AIDS. I know have AIDS but through the power of the strength of Jesus Christ I ws able to forgive him. He told me that he was not born gay, but that it was his choice. I don't believe is born gay, that is saying that God made a mistake in creation. Gos is perfect in everything that He does. I am a Christian woman and I enjoy serving my Lord and savior. Christ has helped me to deal with AIDS and I have lived with it for almost 21 years. It has been a long road but God was with me all the way and He is with me now. I watched my husband suffer with being gay and when he died he refuse Christ and died being gay. I was very sad, but I still pray for those that are in that lifestyle beause only God can deliver them.
Left by Ava on Jan 23, 2009 3:33 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

The issue regarding being "born gay" is one that has led many into a life of sadness and despair. At one time those displaying such tendencies were treated and cured, but in our current PC world it seems that these same people are being encouraged to accept it as being "natural". In truth, homosexuality is nothing more than sexual perversion in which one is overcome by lust, and nothing more. We learn of this with Sodom and Gomorrah, and it holds today just as it did thousands of years ago. What could possibly be gained by a same-sex relationship? Absolutely nothing! Sex is a gift, primarily for pro-creation which requires a man and a woman, and there is nothing these same-sex activists can do to change that. It's time we start treating homosexuality as the illness that it is, and do our best to help those stuck in this quagmire of despair and desperation so that they may live the life God had intended for them; heterosexually. God Bless.
Left by Rev. Anthony Tarasca on Jan 23, 2009 6:30 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

I believe that born gay is just something that you have been looking for in your life. Something that you have missed in your childhood. Or when you where a baby. Maybe a tramatic experience a tramatic event. That you will never forget. You long for something. Something that you need. Something you never got. Some people turn to homosexuality. I know did, I knew it was wrong in my heart. I had a empty feeling inside my heart. I thought it was being gay. But I was never happy. I have finally found it. It is Jesus! He is the empty part of me. He can heal my past hurts. He forgives me for my sins. And Jesus truly loves me. He will never leave me. You are Not born Gay. Because I believe you are longing for something, something you never got, or never wanted. It is a hurtful experience that you never got over. Just open you heart to Jesus. He is the missing thing in your life. Not Homosexuality. I can tell you the truth, I am finally Happy. Because I have Jesus in my life now and always.
Left by Angela on Jan 23, 2009 9:47 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

i struggle with this sin daily..I pray and fast and ask the lord to deliver but it still there..pray for me that jesus will here my cry and deliver me from this sin that i cant control by myself
Left by shaundraH on Jan 23, 2009 11:51 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Paul, you're not gay. So, you will never know or be able to speak with certainty about what it really means to be gay. At best, you can repeat hearsay and assumptions that you've heard. We all have a limited ability to walk the proverbial mile in another person's shoes. I'm not a woman or a mother. So, while I can go to school, read books and listen to conversations about being a woman and a mother, I can never speak with any empirical authority about what it really means to experience life as a woman or a mother. Whole parts of their experience will always be a mystery to me. So, for me to stand on my soapbox pulpit and preach dogmatically about womanhood or motherhood as an assumed authority would be blatantly dishonest, arrogant, and foolish. Yet, many people of faith choose everyday to speak as authorities about being gay when in the same breath they profess not to be gay and not even to know any gay people. Fear and ignorance are not a path to wisdom and understanding.
Left by still small voice on Jan 25, 2009 5:30 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

I'm 17 years old and I can say that I was struggling with homosexual desires since the age of about 12 or 13 and I've kept this to myself over those years not mentioning it to a word the only person who knew what i was going through was God. Countless times I would pray please take it away, why did you make me like this, but I always felt there was no reply. I never had any homosexual encounters and I thank god for that, but the desire to was growing. I would walk past other guys that I found attractive I would feel such a strong pull on my heart almost violent tug, which caused all sorts of sinful thoughts. Pornography was a way of satisfying those desires i had but every time i confessed and repented that i will never do it again i fell straight back into the same sin this happened for years. Only this week the lord showed me scriptures apon scriptures telling me that I needed to change, first he showed me Proverbs 26:11, Dogs return to eat their vomit, just as fools repeat their...
Left by iromeo on Jan 25, 2009 8:37 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

..foolishness. I tried to put it off but then while using the computer to do wrong things someone sent me one of those forward emails while sinning where it said "It is written in the Bible (Galatians 6:7): Be not deceived; God is not mocked: for whatsoever a man sow,that shall he also reap." Then I said ok i seriously need to sort my life out and i prayed and confessed again right there and I cried out and said I dont want to do this anymore, I'm tired of sinning repenting and sinning again! Then something told me type deliverence from Homosexuality on google few searches came up then I stumbled on the 700 club testimony "Ex-Gay Finds Fatherly Love of God". I read it then i said now lord if you can do it for him you can do it for me I watched some of other video testimonies on the site and i kept seeing that number appear up for prayer, something told me to call it, what do i have to loose. So i waited till everyone went to sleep that night and i sat down on the floorr and called...
Left by iromeo on Jan 25, 2009 8:50 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

then i spoke to one of those people on the phone for prayer and for the first time i told someone that I was gay and i needed help from, I explained to them how i been struggling over the past years and then she prayed with me. Immediately as she started to talk about the blood of jesus TEARS streaming down my face, weeping like a river. It was like an emotional release that I really needed I cried so much and she said "I believe that God is already starting to heal you with this problem". While she prayed i felt my right and where I was holding the phone start to CLENCH really hard as if I wanted to smash the phone It felt as if another hand tried to merge with my own it scared me, but i rebuked it. After that call I went up to bed and prayed and I said lord i believe you healed me now please speak to me give me a sign that you have. Grabbed my bible then the first page I opened landed on Isaiah 43:18-19 and it said "Forget the former things: do not dwell on the past. See, I am doing
Left by iromeo on Jan 25, 2009 8:56 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

a new thing! Now it springs up; do you not perceive it?" Immediately the tears started flowing again. The lord cured me from my homosexual desires! That night I then had a dream I was arguing in side my house with my family then all of a sudden the walls outside the house started to fall flat but the house still stood up. Then this BRIGHT Light started to shine through the cracks and me and my family in side were all amazed. Next morning I had no idea what this dream meant but then I meditated on it and realised that the lord was trying to say to me that He has broken down the walls that was preventing me to grow in christ which was homosexuality and he has given me new hope and filled me with that love i was missing and the big bright ray of light represented that. I went to school the same day and immediately realised those feelings for guys were no longer there they were gone! Long story short He can heal you no matter what anyone says, you really really need to want to give it up..
Left by iromeo on Jan 25, 2009 9:03 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

you can't have both dwelling in the same house. You've got to really try and forget the former things and really cry out to god and I believe when he heard me weeping and crying he saw how much I really wanted to be delivered from those desires and I thank GOD for 700 club and their 24 hour prayer line and I also thank him with all my heart for my deliverence. I really wanted to share this with others who are struggling because the Lord can do the same for you.

I know this is a very long post but I hope you allow it to be shown. Thank you.
Left by iromeo on Jan 25, 2009 9:08 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

I have known people who have been healed from homosexuality with God's help. I have had this discussion with a friend who struggles with homosexuality. If God had created gay people, He would not condemn it in the Bible. I truly believe one would not choose homosexuality, because of the struggles that go with it, but it does many times come from past trauma or abuse that the person may not even remember. It was taken out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders due to pressure from gay activists, but the person who removed it later admitted that it should not have been removed. People are given crosses to bear in life, and I believe homosexuality is one of those.
Left by Rose on Jan 25, 2009 11:16 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

The apostle Paul had a thorn in his side...I battle with alcohol every day...some people are naturally bent toward pedophilia. Since Adam and Eve sinned we are all bent toward certain things that weaken us. Thank God that you recognize your situation and pray for Him to take your problem away because that problem died on the cross. I don't drink any longer, but each day I would like to have a drink. If we read the Bible daily we will be led to see that our problems are addressed and Who to turn to.
Left by KDF on Jan 25, 2009 9:25 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

The idea that one is born gay adds no merit to adopting the lifestyle. People are born with a genetic predisposition for alcoholism, but no one tells them, "You were born that way, so drink yourself silly on the road to self-discovery." There's a hereditary component to many forms of cancer, but you'll never hear a doctor tell someone, "You can't avoid cancer. It's in your genes. So let it run rampant in your body & drain the life from you 'til it becomes your entire identity." Since the beginning of time, people have tried to justify things by saying they were born that way. Maybe that's why our salvation experience is called being born again. "If any man is in Christ, He is a new creature. The old is passed away. The new has come." We receive a new nature, new spiritual DNA. As for same sex attraction, the problems occur when the legitimate, God-given need for same-sex relationships & companionship in the form of Christian community tries to get met in an illegitimate, perverse way
Left by theminx1 on Jan 25, 2009 10:36 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Hello Everyone. I am new to the blog. I read
Sydney note and everyone responses. I am a born again saved, blessed and delivered Christian. I cannot begin on the trials and tribulations I have been through in my 39 years here on earth for it would take a novel or two to tell you everything. But on Homosexuality and being born that way, these are my thoughts. I know that God does not create mistakes, but however there are what we call "freaks of nature." We find that in almost everything, a slight mistake due to the way things were formed at cell division or a skip in DNA,etc.; but I think some people are born gay, not due to their fault or God fault or their parents fault. I personally have faught with bi-sexuality for years now. But because I finally know who God is and have a relationship with Him, I choose not to participate in that behavior anymore. Some things are unexplainable, but very fixable with the help of God and some things are just tests for us to personally conquer.
Left by Charay on Jan 27, 2009 8:05 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

"My Genes Made Me Do It" This is a book I found on Exodus-Internation.org I have not read it, but I love the title. The book is about how there is no medical evidence that supports people being born gay-none. I like the statement theminx1 said about us receving a new spiritual DNA. Charay, you are right about there sometimes being problems with chromosomal abnormalities in DNA, but these abnormalities can always be proven medically. These individuals are not "freaks of nature,"but people much loved by God. My brother is mentally retarded and he is closer to the Lord than a lot of us. He has such a child like faith and he teaches me how to trust in God. God loves us all in and through our struggles. Your responses have been such a blessing and bringing our struggles,hurts, and victories to the light are a tremendous blow to the enemy. God Bless you all and keep those blogs coming.
Left by Sydney Johnson on Jan 29, 2009 10:32 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

iromeo, Thank you for sharing your story. As one of our previous bloggers wrote, it is really "rad" to hear of people getting set free from homosexuality. The Lord heals us all differently and He definitely met you in your time of need. God loves your heart after Him. Continue the good fight and draw near to Him. God bless you for being "rad" for the Lord.
Left by Sydney Johnson on Feb 01, 2009 7:38 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

"It was taken out of the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders due to pressure from gay activists, but the person who removed it later admitted that it should not have been removed." Rose may I have the source of this tidbit of information. I would be interested in researching this fact for a paper I am writing. Thanks. You can email me at nikkos_71@yahoo.com
Left by Billy71 on Feb 03, 2009 9:05 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

We live in a fallen world with a fallen nature.I was a gay women til i started serving the LORD.I did not choose to be gay.I didn't wake one morning and say 'Gee,I think I'll be gay.I like being rideculed and being beat up for who Iam' I did choose to live the lifestyle however,and did for over 25yrs.Then i gave my life to God.From the very moment of that choise I have been free of all homosexual desires .I know believing in the Lord Jesus Chirst can deliver you and truly make you anew creation in him. see 2Cor.5;17 ,Rev.3;19-20,John 14;13-14.Keep your eyes on Jesus and He will do great and marvolous things in your life .
Left by Toni on Feb 04, 2009 2:02 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

I was set free from homosexuality in 1988, after many years of living a double life. Today I direct a ministry helping others find freedom. The process of healing is long and arduous, requiring EVERYTHING I've had: Jesus wants ALL of me. I'm now married to a beautiful Christian woman and enjoying every minute of our new life together. I just read Janet Boyne's Book, "Called Out" and I highly recommend it! It is very well written and communicates the Love of God dramatically for any and all who struggle with same sex attractions!
Left by Dan on Feb 05, 2009 1:04 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

It sure is Sydney. Its week three since my healing and I'm fighting strong, God has helped me grow in the spirit and in faith. I feel so close to him more than ever before and I always remember to thank him for what he did for me, I sometimes still can't believe it i sit there thinking "wow I'm no longer gay, thank you God" haha. The devil does try to make you think you havent changed and your the same way but everytime that thought comes I remember all those verses that he showed me as proof! God is great. I love you Jesus =]
Left by iromeo on Feb 05, 2009 7:45 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

TO GOD BE ALL THE GLORY!!!!! I was so excited to hear about all the victories of being set free. Dan is right on when he said that the healing is a long and arduous process that requires a lot of personal sacrifice, but it is worth every tear shed and pain felt. Be encouraged those of you who think you have fallen so far away that God does not want to have anything to do with you. He does!! GOD LOVES YOU SO MUCH NO MATTER WHAT YOU HAVE DONE AND WHERE YOU ARE RIGHT NOW. HE WANTS YOU TO COME HOME JUST AS THE PRODIGAL SON DID! He will clean you up. That is His job to do. Just come. Here are some words to a song that helped me: "Come as you are--Echoes the voice of the Savior--Don't try to change your behavior, just come as you are. He's gentle and He's warm and He's waited so long, to hold you in His arms--Just come as you are." Let these words seep deep into your hearts. God bless all of you.
Left by Sydney Johnson on Feb 08, 2009 10:13 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

Week 4 guys since my deliverance first two weeks were good last week and now this week its getting tough, I'm being bombarded with temptation, like every corner I turn, I'm like using the computer than by mistake "BAM" your left with a choice continue to life a life pleasing to God or go back to my old ways full of depression and serve satan, serving satan always seems the easiest option but in gods strength i resist. At college faced with the choice of looking lustfully at a guy or to turn your head the opposite way and walk straight resisiting the opportunity. In Gods strength i continue to resist. Temptation even comes in dreams especially when i mistakenly forget to put on the "Armor of God" before i go to sleep. Today has been the toughest out of all, please people i humbly ask you to pray for me for maximum strength and selfcontrol to continue on the right path. Thank you, God Bless.
Left by iromeo on Feb 10, 2009 2:53 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

iromeo, Four weeks ago you had a very significant and powerful experience with your Lord and Savior. Your heart to follow Him has made satan very angry. Our battle is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities. Reach out for support and counceling. If satan can isolate you, he will work on filling your mind with lies. I used to beat myself up when I was bombarded with warfare, thinking I had done something wrong. I look at warfare like this: If a dog is attacking you, do you beat the dog or do you beat yourself? You beat the dog. (Neil Anderson used this as a great example) Satan has no endurance. The battle will lessen. You hang in there,but do not do this alone. Turn on the praise and worship music and read the Bible outloud. Flee from the computer. This is a tremendous battle. God Bless you and be strong. God is your strength and strong tower. He loves you so much and is with you.
Left by Sydney Johnson on Feb 11, 2009 7:59 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Dear IRomeo, I pray that God who began a good work in you will be faithful to complete it. I work for The 700 Club prayer line. Any time you're feeling weak or tempted, please feel free to call us. We're here 24/7, 366 days a year. God bless you! Joyfully, The Minx
Left by theminx1 on Feb 12, 2009 12:01 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

Hey,

I stumbled onto this blog yesterday and what a blessing it is. I really find everyone's stories of their struggle with homosexuality extremely encouraging. I have struggled with it off and on for around three years. I finally opened up about it last semester and God has brought me so far because of it. I have a group of friends praying for me now. I gave my testimony last week at the campus ministry I go to at my university. Satan is super pissed at me now and the struggle is so hard. My friend just told me today that storming the gates of hell isn't easy. Oh that is so true. Whenever we speak about how God is healing us, satan's eyes quickly fix on us and he wants to make us fall. He is feeding me all sorts of lies about how homosexuality can be something that would make me happy. Remembering the past is an excellent way for me to shut him up. When I was an active homosexual my life sucked. I was miserable. Never forget that the same power that conquered the grave lives in you!
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 15, 2009 5:48 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Satan only has control over you when you let him. The power of the almighty Jesus Christ dwells in you! Jesus Himself, the Savior of the world is inside of you and satan has NO power and NO authority! Tell him that. You have NO POWER here!! By the power of Jesus Christ in me-SHUT UP!! I will not listen to your lies anymore. You have NO power here! I am a child of God and there is NO guilt and NO shame in Christ Jesus! There is so much power that we have over satan through Jesus! There is no room for disappointment, guilt, and shame! There is only mercy, forgiveness, and grace! When satan is lying to you shut him up! Don't listen to him because he is extremely cunning. DO NOT give him a SECOND of your time!
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 15, 2009 5:53 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

some awesome worship songs that help are:

Healer by Hillsong

All I want is You by Planetshakers

Deliver me by David Crowder

Never Let Go by David Crowder

How He loves us by Kim Walker

We Cry Out by Kim Walker

Yes You have by Leeland

Beautiful Lord by Leeland

Mighty to Save by Hillsong

You can find all of these on Youtube-these songs are such an encouragement! They remind of how sovereign our Lord is and how He loves us! When God looks at us He sees His Son's blood covering us! How beautiful and scandalous is the grace of our almighty God!
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 15, 2009 6:09 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

want2befree I know exactly how you feel, once you make that step to let God in satan really gets very angry and it is a tough battle. I was so close to giving up this weekend satan would plant dreams that made me feel as if I havent changed and how much better off i was before, I'll admit i did dwell on these thoughts quite a bit and then that was fuled by heavy bombardment of terrible thoughts. I just felt like ripping my head off, I was so miserable and uptight. I rebuke the thoughts but after a while they come back and i sometimes I just try to ignore them but then i I had a thought saying "stop being so lazy, use the tools I have provided for you", I started to play worship songs that i found on google and IMMEDIATELY the thoughts go and the atmosphere changes in my room. I kept on praying lord dont give up on me please dont give up on me,and the response was Dont Give Up On Me! I felt quite shameful of myself over the weekend but I feel a lot stronger today. I thank God for this..
Left by iromeo on Feb 16, 2009 10:43 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

this blog because apart from Him and this blog its kinda the only way I feel comfortable sharing the struggles I'm going through. Thank's sydney your words came into thought when faced with temptation and was helpful. Thank's theminx1 I'm actually going to give you guys a call right now.

God Bless
Left by iromeo on Feb 16, 2009 10:48 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

Do not underestimate the power of Satan. He encourages homosexuality, perversion and sin. God did not create homosexual humans.

May God bless you all and bring you salvation.
Left by Gina on Feb 18, 2009 5:59 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Gina we ALREADY HAVE SALVATION!Which is such a beautiful thing. Just because we struggle with homosexuality DOES NOT mean that the blood of Jesus Christ does not cover us! NOTHING that we do once we have been saved can EVER separate us from the LOVE OF GOD! Romans 8:38 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons,neither the present nor the future, nor any powers,neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." Satan ONLY has power that God gives him! The power of Jesus is IN US! We only have 2 claim it! Satan has no AUTHORITY over us! Iromeo, the guilt and shame you feel is from SATAN! There is NO CONDEMNATION in Jesus Christ!We have no strength on our own. As soon as we try to deal with our struggles in our own strength we will ALWAYS end up where we were. As we fall in love with Jesus sin will begin to look SO much less desirable! Be encouraged!
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 18, 2009 11:25 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Dear IRomeo, Oh, I'm so glad! Yes, call the prayer line, & call as many times as you need to. We're here round the clock, every day, including holidays. You'll get a different person each time you call, but anyone you talk to will be happy to pray for you. Have you called it yet? If so, how did it go? Be honest! *grin* Joyfully, The Minx
Left by theminx1 on Feb 18, 2009 11:36 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

It went very well thank you Gina. When i called them last week it really gave me the boost that I needed to keep on walking on the right path. I'm proud to say I have not fallen back on my old ways yet and I do not intend to. I am so hungry for the Lord, i'm always thinking about him, trying to worship as much as i can by singing to him while playing the piano. Over the past 2 months the Lord has given me many visions and words telling me that he really wants to use me to share the gospel and help share the truth to more people.On that night when i was delivered he kept saying to me "I am going to use you to share the gospel" my mom always told me that I would and i refused the idea saying that I just didnt want to. Even after the lord told me i said i still didnt want to but then once he gave me the dreams and visions I had to say Lord let your will be done on earth as it is in heaven, use me as you wish I am your servant! I believe your prayers helped me to grow even stronger....
Left by iromeo on Feb 23, 2009 3:05 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

... lord also revealed to me that this is going to be a process of chaning my mind set and it has not yet been complete as he said in that vision i had the night i was delievered, "some of the walls still need to be broken down" I kinda got a little impatient but again the lord showed me that I made the choice to let my mind dwell and lust over immoral thoughts so the time for recover is just a price i have to pay as a result of my actions, what you sow is what you reap. So im humble now, just letting God do his work, and any time i have doubts about being fully healed I always remember of the vision and the word he gave me the night I was delivered. I'm slowly rediscovering my attraction to the opposite sex I've been noticing it quite a lot lately especially today at school. I enjoy praying worshiping and reading Gods word morning and night. I really love to sing and play my keyboard to God and say thanks for what he has done and I always love it when the Holy Spirit...
Left by iromeo on Feb 23, 2009 3:20 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Gives you such a warm touch when you worship the Lord, I felt it for the first time and I was like woahh. I know it was the Holy Spirit because room was normal temperature and I was sing it was like as if someone rested their hand on my shoulder and gave me a pat on the back. Today I was walking home from school and praising God and realised how much better life is when you serve him and give your life and all your worries and troubles to him, you literally feel like a new person so fresh and happy, full of joy, hahaha. All i can say is thank you thank you thank you JESUS :D I love him so dearly.
Left by iromeo on Feb 23, 2009 3:28 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

iromeo,

your passion for Jesus is such a light to me. i have been struggling with things lately. satan is really wanting me to be bogged down with sin so that i won't keep my focus on God. from C.S Lewis' book Screwtape Letters I learned that satan not only puts things in our minds, but he also takes stuff out. (the stuff God wants us to remember) watching inappropriate things on Youtube is a definite struggle for me. it's something that's so easy to hide too. and i've been questioning whether masturbating is really wrong if you don't think any sinful thoughts when you do it. i really don't know the answer to that. maybe you feel God telling you something about that that you could share. I really struggle with becoming lazy in my faith. it's like I'll be all into reading my Bible and praying, but it won't last. I really need prayer to act on what God tells me to do and not my feelings. I tend to follow my feelings a lot. But a lot of times our feelings aren't of God.
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 24, 2009 12:29 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

i really need prayer to have passion and a heart that burns for Jesus no matter what the circumstances are in my life or how i feel. i am so thankful for this blog. and iromeo it's so cool how our stories are so similar because it's helping me so much. i'll definitely be praying for you. we are fighting for each other when we pray! i will fight for you iromeo! we are not alone in this battle! it feels so strange to spill my guts out to a computer, but i feel that when you read this-even though you don't have a clue who i am-that you genuinely care. what a wonderful feeling it is to have someone close to my age on here who shares a struggle with me! i need a lot of prayer and i will definitely keep you in my prayers since the roaring lion is after us all! even though i have no idea who you are i love you as my brother in Christ. it's great that technology is actually being a true blessing! thanks to Sydney for starting this blog! i definitely found it at one of my lowest points. thanks!
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 24, 2009 12:36 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

want2befree

Your comment totally made me grin from ear to ear because I am so full of joy that sharing my testimony of the amazing work that Jesus is doing in my life is helping a fellow brother in Christ overcome the same sin and lie that satan made me believe, (God made me gay & I will be gay forever). You know I felt the same way sharing my struggles on here, but it really helps that you don't fight this battle alone as many have said before on here as well as people on the prayer line satan will try to isolate you, so keep communicating! Indeed we will fight this battle together and you will most definitly be in my prayers as well as any others who may be struggling so that what God did for me he will also do for you. Before my delieverence began I used to be selfish and kinda only thought about myself but since Jesus poured his love out to me that night when i called 700 club, I now always feel the need to share some of that love and joy to others. I really pray that you......
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 4:01 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

hang in there just like I did because God is seeing you make the effort to come clean and seek forgiveness, I just know it that you are also going to be healed, we both just have to be patient. I was highly addicted to youtube for about 2 years thank God I am no longer addicted to it and now i've replaced youtube with the cbn's media centre, i know it can't compare to the amount of clips and interactivity as youtube but listening to testimonies and hearing the word daily always boosts the mind and spirit to keep on following God. I went through the same thing that you did, using youtube to look at inappropriate things. You see the thing with youtube is that you could easily be watching something that is not inappropriate and then when you glance at the related videos "BAM" right there in your face a video that has absolutely nothing related to the video your watching and you can clearly see its inappropriate by the icon but yet you feel so powerless and you just have to click it....
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 4:52 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

and then after you watch the clip all that guilt and shame comes after. In the past I even used to be watching videos on God and then I would be so tempted to search terrible things after which brought upon even more shame. What I advice is try to stay off of youtube for a good while or just reduce the time you spend on it. I still go on it but mainly to watch other testimonies now, and through out the past weeks the choice to watch a naughty clip has been there but in Gods strength I resisted. I personally had to significantly reduce the time i spent on facebook as well because I used to used it to lust after other guys I knew by watching their photos etc, that news feed page can be dangerous. Temptation can come from literally anywhere even from your friends. That weekend when I was struggling a lot, I kinda brought it on myself because I went to visit a friend who I know can sometimes behave in inappropriate ways as a joke that I will fueled certain thoughts. The Lord told me to...
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 5:27 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

to be on guard, but yet I still went but thank God I did not give into temptation. As a result I've distanced my self from that friend since. He's also quite athiest and bodly speaks about how God doesnt exist and he says so many blasphemous things against the lord which I got really angry about but this and I prayed and meditated on it and God directed me to 1 Peter 3:8-17, I keep praying that God will show me the right way to approach him and share the truth. Ohh i forgot to share this sotry, one which I actually found quite funny. I'm an actor and I now and then go to auditions for roles that come my way for short films, I normally apply for all the possible roles that I see available and I normally read them in detail but it turns out on one occasion I didnt. So in late december I applied for a few and had no response from any. Then that week I had my deliverence turns out I got a the part for a film that had really good pay compared to others. So I contacted the director to...
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 6:38 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

I then later realised that I actually auditoned for a gay character without even knowing it!!!! I wouldn't have even gone to it even if God didnt heal me at that time. So I literally laughed out loud and said "hahaha no way satan am I going to walk into such a stupid trap" lol I still find it quite funny now! So I contacted the director immediately I realised and cancelled it. Ok the masturbation topic. This was another sin I was totally in bondage, and that started the same time those homosexual desires started to grow, it was a way of satisfying those desires. I've read about so many christian teens even adults that struggle with this sin. I deep down knew it was wrong but I wanted confirmation so I was easily mislead by articles I saw online saying that God does not have a problem with it. But want2befree I can tell you that God does not approve of it. Why? Well because I actually only asked God to deliver me from homosexuality, and to my surprise when those desires started to ....
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 7:01 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

fade the desire of masturbation also faded away, so from that I realised that If God did not have a problem with masturbation then he would not of removed the desire, but he did remove it!! So he most definitly sees it as sin even though it is never mentioned in the bible. Normally in the past I would commit the sin and then feel guilt and shame and would repent but after a week max I fell straight back into it again, it was an endless cycle for years!! Now I can thank God and say that I have not committed the act since my deliverence which is on the verge of nearly 2 months now and I do not have the urge to anymore. Sure temptation will come just as with homosexuality but it is just a test that will make you think the desire is still there when in fact it isn't. I strongly believe these two sins are demonicly linked in a way because one fuels the other. I tried on numerous occasions to keep my mind empty and not lust during the act but it will always, always! bring you back ...
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 7:11 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

to lusting in the end. I have so much I want to share but I know that I'm going to end up typing a million word essay, so I'm gonna cut short there. I am most definitly going to be praying for you. Hang in there pal!
Left by iromeo on Feb 24, 2009 7:14 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

iromeo,

Haha it's funny that you thought I was a guy because I am actually a girl. A verse that is really applying to you right now is Jeremiah 20:9 "But if I say, "I will not mention him or speak any more in his name, his word is in my heart like a fire, a fire shut up in my bones.I am weary of holding it in;indeed, I cannot." And the internet is such a trap; but God does always give us a way out. I really need prayer to have the strength to take that step-like whenever I feel tempted I should shut off the computer and read my Bible and pray. It is SO much easier to say that than do it. And with masturbation our stories are the same too! I too am easily mislead when I look up on the internet whether God thinks masturbation is wrong. I'll read long things about how it's not and then I'll be like oh well God doesn't care about it so I'll do it. But if I think about it, most of the times I masturbate I do it because I've been thinking or watching things that I shouldn't.
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 24, 2009 10:56 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

So I should not let satan trick me with this sin, but I do. Because even though I can think nothing bad while I do it-it's what I did before that made me feel like I just had to masturbate. That's so good that you turned down that acting job! Satan took a blow for that one! Praise Jesus! I was praying for you today. I prayed that you would have a passion and I fire for Jesus. I will continue to pray for you, brother in Christ. It feels wonderful to share all of this. I talk to friends about this-they know about the masturbation and homosexual struggles; but sometimes it's hard to go into so much detail without feeling uncomfortable. I want to leave you with some encouragement Galatians 5:16 "So I say, live by the Spirit, and you will not gratify the desires of the sinful nature." With Jesus; help we will live by the Spirit. Iromeo you are a saint and priest of the most high God. He has such a high calling on your life. There is no guilt and shame in Jesus.
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 24, 2009 11:04 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

God looks at you and sees Jesus' blood covering you! It's such a beautiful thing. God is pleased with you because Jesus has reconciled you to the Father. Feel free and just go and share the love of Jesus. I will definitely keep you in my prayers. Just keep on following the Shepherd day by day. I don't know when we will both be through with this struggle, but that's why it's so good that God isn't worried about time. He is way beyond time and He is doing His work in us. I'll be praying for patience for us because sometimes I get really fed up when the struggle comes back. This verse really helps me Philippians 1:6 "being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." I'll pray that we will have confidence in Jesus. And I know you like worship music.
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 24, 2009 11:15 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Kim Walker is really good too. God has really used these artist's songs to help me. The song deliver me by david crowder is awesome too. Well haha I wrote a little book. Oh and something to do that helped me in my struggle-just laugh! It is so freeing! Just laugh that you could ever think that the struggle could ever be something God couldn't take care of. Just try it-laugh and let a smile widen across your face. Jesus will be laughing right along. Jesus will bring us through this!I will be typing to you soon.
Left by want2befree88 on Feb 24, 2009 11:19 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

I appologise for being unresponsive this week but I'm happy to say things are going great, I'm continuing to grow in the lord and in faith and i believe that each day I am getting stronger, I'm really starting to enjoy reading the word and Im even more hungry for the lord. Those words were very encouraging and will continue to remind myself of them when that time of temptation comes. I'm happy to say and I thank God that I have not fallen back on my old ways I believe your prayers are being heard and answered! The only thing im struggling with right now is just the dreams i often get which totally are defiling, I mean if those thoughts come to me during the day I rebuke them straight away but in a dream I have no control of what goes. One night i started to drift off to sleep and a dream started and I swiftly realised where it was heading I managed to wake up and I totally rebuked satan and those dreams and I pleaded the blood apon me and asked the holy spirit to just fill the room...
Left by iromeo on Mar 02, 2009 7:48 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

with his presense which did help afterwards. I get myself down with this as if im choosing to entertain those thoughts which I'm not but I realise this is probaly another process that will be taking place. Just to let you know I have been praying for you numerous occasions every single day and I will continue to do so =] i know the lord is hearing them and will answer them. One thing God showed me few weeks ago is how to properly put on the Armor God which is a must have each day and each time you go to sleep for the night. Before i used to just say lord put your armor on me etc. But he told me speak it out loud and actually carry out the actions of putting it on. So I would say in the name of the lord Jesus I put on the helmet of salvation and pretend to put it on in the physical, then breastplate of righteousness.. etc Ephesians 6:1-18 try do this twice a day.
Left by iromeo on Mar 02, 2009 8:01 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

While I am getting more of those inappropriate dreams I'm also getting more dreams which I believe are from God. Two nights I had this dream where I met these two grown ladies and they said do you want us to pray for you and I said why yes and they said "Get Ready" I was like oook so i closed my eyes and as soon as they laid hands on me BAM! I felt like such a jolt of power run through me and then all of a sudden I saw Jesus's face appear to me through my closed eyes! I got scared but I was also full of joy! I really believe that he actually did that while I was asleep and it just manifested as a dream because few days prior I kept praying lord send your angles to touch me, continue to give me visions and dreams. I believe those two women in the dream were those angels I asked for. One thing that made me happy was Jesus was smiling at me haha he had a little grin on his face as if he was pleased with me. This made me really happy because..
Left by iromeo on Mar 02, 2009 8:07 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

before I made the decision to sort my life out again and turn to the lord Jesus himself appeared to me in a dream It felt so real I couldn't believe it. During this time I was really badly in sin and, when I saw him he was just standing watching me on the road I walk to school he jsut stood there watching me with a slightly stern face but also a face that looked as if he was unhappy. He didn't say a word he just looked at me. His clothes where SOOO white and his face so pure. In the dream I stood their in shock I didnt know what to do. Once that happened then I knew it had to be his way of saying I needed to turn from sin. The look said it all! I've had othe dreams which I will share in due time! Let us continue fighting this battle for the lord is with us! =]
Left by iromeo on Mar 02, 2009 8:14 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

I really haven't felt like posting on here this week and I really feel like that's because you've really needed some encouragement. Usually when I don't feel like doing something, I really need to. I just want you to know that God is using this blog so much in my life. All of the struggles that you have are the same as mine. There is no way that this came about on it's own. I have wanted to talk to someone who knows what I'm going through for a long time and God blessed me in the strangest way. I will continue to fight for you. I'll be praying for your dreams to be filled with Jesus. Acting out putting on the armor of God really helped me to visualize how covered and protected I am by God. Thanks for sharing that. I encourage you to think about the attribute of God that touches you the most deeply. What attribute of His character has the power to utterly entrance you forever? For me it is the rest that He gives. How peaceful it is to be in His presence.
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 06, 2009 4:31 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

His peace transcends any circumstance. Ask Jesus to let you feel His love more than you are experiencing now. His love is infinite and if we just catch a glimpse of it transformation is inevitable. Oh to look into His eyes as all else fades. Be encouraged iromeo. The Father looks at you and grins from ear to ear. He loves you in the most intimate way. May your heart be put at ease, strength given to your aching bones, and rest for this journey. Here are some verses that are helpful with sleep. Once I read Psalm 4:8 and knocked out in about a minute.
Psalm 3:5 "I lie down and sleep;I wake again, because the LORD sustains me."
Psalm 4:8 "I will lie down and sleep in peace, for you alone, O LORD,make me dwell in safety."
I will be praying for your mind. I will pray for Jesus to fill your dreams with His presence and that He will saturate your mind with thoughts of Him. Please be praying for me to have pure thoughts and to bring all thoughts into submission to Christ.
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 06, 2009 4:41 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Also please pray that God will take me to a place where I am utterly changed and truly realize that He is the only thing I need. I long to be delivered from where I am now. I want to be changed so that I really feel in my heart that if I lose everything that I would still feel like I hadn't lost anything because I still have my Savior. Thank you for your prayers and encouragement!
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 06, 2009 4:43 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

When I think about the idea that God planned this whole thing out for us to meet on here it amazes me and I thank him! I've been praying for you each day morning and night and when I worship, He hears them and I know he is going to break down those walls like he did for me so that his light can fully shine in you. I'm glad you find acting out putting on the armor helpful I've actually been sharing it with other people on otherwebsites struggling with the same thing so I pray that they too will see the effect. Without doubt you are hearing from God because this week I've been struggling with sleep, because I keep on getting attacked and I believe it is demonic it was the most frightening experience two nights in a row it happened. The first night I started to shake and vibrate so violently I thought I was going to die! I was so scared and I called out to Jesus and I then Holy Spirit said to within seconds use the oil. I keep some anointing oil next to my bed and that night I forgot to
Left by iromeo on Mar 08, 2009 8:28 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

annoint myself. Next night same thing happened but instead I was playing worship music while i slept and as it finished the same vibrating and shaking came again I was scared and then I felt a evil presence hanging above me I said God Help and then I heard a voice immediately saying "Your God is not going to help you" and Holy Spirit then said the lord will never leave you nor forsake you. I Noticed it was the enemy before and I rebuked it, and remembered to annoint myself and I was fine after. So I will definitly be saying those psalms before I sleep and will rememebr to annoint myself. I will continue to pray for pure thoughts without a doubt because I am also being bombarded from time to time which such thoughts and its very easy to just dwell on them instead of rebuking them straight away. You're his daughter want2befree88 he loves you so much even more than you and I even imagined and he is going to transform you dramatically, knock and he shall answer. God Bless!
Left by iromeo on Mar 08, 2009 8:38 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

iromeo,

thank you so much for your prayers! i know that they are the reason that i didn't completely go off of the deep end this past week. i have been thinking a lot of homosexual thoughts this past week but because of your prayers they didn't seem as appealing as they usually would. i really know what it means to have someone fighting for you now. i also met a guy who is gay and he seemed so happy that i began to think the lie that i could be happy and gay at the same time. but we both know that it will only make us miserable since we would be living in rebellion to God. i will definitely be praying for your dreams daily. i will never stop fighting for you! like you told me you are God's son and He loves you infinitely more than you could ever fathom! i pray peace upon you brother! thank you for constantly praying for me! i need it so much. i am so thankful to have this encouragement. i have needed to talk to someone who is in the same boat as me for so long! God will never let go!
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 16, 2009 12:39 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

Amen! Thank you for your prayers as well I have had a good couple of weeks no homosexual thoughts have been bombarding me, I have not wanted to go back to how I use to be because everytime that thought may come I always think that it would be spitting in Gods face because he took his time to deliver me from the sin I was crying out for years to be set free and doing that would just be appauling thing, and I always think what if the lord may not be so willing to deliver me again so I am really trying to keep myself pure. You know satan is going to try every thing he has to get us to fall, I was sharing my testimony on another chrisitan website for teens and they all laughed and ridiculed me, some said I was crazy & some said God doesnt not condemn homosexuality, others said why not be happy the way you are etc, all those thoughts are so decieving but I thank God I just ignored them. I feel we need to be in contact more frequently because then we can continue to encourage each other more
Left by iromeo on Mar 16, 2009 4:47 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Hey iromeo,

I totally agree about encouraging each other more! I have been praying for you friend! It's just so good to know someone is interceding for me all the time. Praise Jesus that you have surrendered your thoughts to Him! You are letting Him have control of your mind! Never think that Jesus wouldn't want to deliver you! That is a lie from satan. It is not in Jesus' character to not deliver someone who cries out to Him. It's in His character to do that. :D I heard a sermon monday that really hit home. It was talking about that when we base how God feels about us on our behavior that we become Pharisees.How God sees us has everything to do with His character and not our behavior. He loves us because that is who He is. I just encourage you to spend more intimate time with Jesus (I need prayer about that!) because then you will fall deeper and deeper in love with Him! I really need to fall more in love Jesus because as I do sin looks so much less desirable.
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 19, 2009 5:36 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Oh I pray that your heart is made light at the reading of this encouragement! Psalm 139:18b "When I awake,I am still with you." My friend told me this when I was saying how you have bad dreams. God is with us throughout the night which is so easy for me to forget! He watches you sleep! I will be praying for you and know that Jesus' eyes are always on you. He is ready to help you in your times of need!
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 19, 2009 5:50 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

I tried posting me email in the previous post but cbn aren't allowed to accept posts with peoples emails in them :S so thats why it didnt show up. This week the enemy is trying to see if he can get back at me so its been a tough few days but holyspirit is drawing me to scriptures about being tested and being faithful through the test as it is only for a time for example Job 1:6,chapter 3 and Matthew 4. So im keeping strong as satan has no choice but to flee once we resist him. Thank you for your prayers and I will continue to pray for you especially for intimacy with the Lord Jesus =]

God Bless
Left by iromeo on Mar 20, 2009 5:24 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

That's so crazy that God told you to read Matthew 4. He told me to read that around last week, but I haven't read it yet. I'll be praying for you that you will flee temptation. God always gives us a way out but we have to rely 100% on Him to take it. When it comes to temptation I really realize how I can't do anything on my own. I always struggle the most when I'm alone which makes since. Why don't we post on here once a day and just update each other on how we're doing so we know specifics on what to pray for? May the Lord bless and keep you!
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 20, 2009 9:03 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

True, we'll fail with our own strength. You know i was thinking the same but because the moderators don't always post approve the messages the day someone posts it like im only seeing your last message today for the first time even though i've been checking all week.


Left by iromeo on Mar 25, 2009 4:32 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

I was wondering why it was taking my post so long to come up. This is starting to seem like an ineffective way to communicate. But nevertheless, what is Jesus doing in your life?
I prayed for my friend and Jesus took her chest and leg pain away! God wants to use you to heal people! He wants to offer this gift to all of His followers and I didn't believe it until that happened to me. Well I hope that you are encouraged! I pray that you get this message soon.
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 25, 2009 6:38 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

In my last post I put a link to a website where you could send me your email but they removed the link! lol. I feel like we are trapped on this page. I sent them a message to see if it could be solved. Other than that things are going pretty good trying to keep strong, yesterday I was just trying to find a simple dance moves video on youtube and something told me just close it now but I still thought its just a simple video and it won't hurt within no time I was tempted to lust, I said NUH-UH no way satan. I dont really watch TV anymore or surf much on youtube because I just sometimes feel so vulnerable because attacks can come at any minute from the things you least expect. So I mainly just watch christian programs, crusades and what not, only thing I can really feel safe putting my eyes on. Even at school yesterday in media lesson we were watching this show which I never seen before and there was a part where it showed some innappropriate content I had to turn my head lol to risky
Left by iromeo on Mar 26, 2009 7:29 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

I always say to my self "nope its not worth it" "its not worth ruining that relationship with God I've been building over these months, NOPE!". But yehh Im doing pretty well. The Lord gave me two dreams they were very scary till I woke someone in the house up cause I was shouting in my sleep cause i was so scared. Basically in the dreams I was doing something normal either with a friend or on the computer thinking that its innocent and then I would so willingly commit sin against God and not even try to stop myself, and once I sinned such guilt, shame and embarrasement and fear and an evil presence will overcome me and it was so scary I tell you! The first night I took no notice of it but the second time it was 4 am and I was so scared I cried to God and I said I'm praying each night for security and no bad dreams yet I'm still having them. Before I slept those nights I asked God please speak to me Lord I want to hear your voice but I thought that he wasn't answering me.
Left by iromeo on Mar 26, 2009 1:30 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Then on that second dream at 4 am God said to me "I want to show you something, read" so I got my bible opened it and when I turned the pages rolled straight onto Job 33 and was pulled to verse 13-18: "Why do you complain to him that he answers none of man's words?14 For God does speak now one way, now another though man may not perceive it. 15 In a dream, in a vision of the night, when deep sleep falls on menas they slumber in their beds,16 he may speak in their ears and terrify them with warnings, 17 to turn man from wrongdoing and keep him from pride, 18 to preserve his soul from the pit, his life from perishing by the sword." Then after reading it i was like Woah I understand the purpose of those dreams and I am literally frightened to sin because of the things happened in the dream once I did. Now when God speaks to me like this my instinct is to question and say nahhh it couldnt of been him, I just randomly rolled on that page.... But really when i think about it what are the
Left by iromeo on Mar 26, 2009 2:00 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

odds of me landing on such a page refearing exactly the current situation im going through is very very small. After I read those verses it really woke me up and showed me how serious it is to God that I do not fall back on my old ways. I got really sad the morning after the first dream because when I sinned in the dream I heard Gods voice so clear saying "I am displeased with you". It really up set me I felt down that whole day because I felt like i did wrong in the eyes of the Lord and I was even trying to remember if I did anything wrong but then I was reliefed and also shaken up with what he told following the second dream. But yeh I am so happy to walk in God like the other day I was walking home from school the sun was so beautiful I just said father I love you for all what you 've done for me I really mean it. Im beginning to build up a friendship with him its quite cool lol when you think of it. I've been praying day and night for you so that you will be set free =] He will =]
Left by iromeo on Mar 26, 2009 2:08 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Oh and btw I tried contacting the moderators to see if they could perhaps forward my email address to you but they couldn't because of guidelines. But they said they will update the monitor and approve the posts more frequently which is very nice of them :D Im not sure if im even allowed to post links so if it doesnt come up then it was removed but I also recommend that you sign up on Christian Teen Forums give it a search!!! please!!! One thing I like about this site is that we can so clearly look back on our progress through those ups and downs we have =]

God bless my friend!
Left by iromeo on Mar 26, 2009 2:17 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

That's such an encouragement to hear!!! God really used you to remind me that I need to take my struggle with this sin seriously. Praise Jesus that you understand your dreams! I'm so happy God showed you those verses. And yes the internet can definitely be a trap! I'm just going to type out a prayer for you on here because it's as close as I can get!
Dad I lift up iromeo to you. God I thank you for these dreams that you have given him! Oh you love him so much and when you look at him you are so pleased. You see His struggle and you see him earnestly trying to do Your will. God I pray that he will rely on Your everlasting arms Jesus. Please show him Your love and let him experience You in a profound way. Jesus tell him more and more about You every day. God show him that Your heart is good. Give him the strength he needs each day. God fill him with You because he is nothing without you! God You love him so much. Give him the courage and strength to fight against the devil's attacks.
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 26, 2009 5:19 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

God I pray that You will give him an insatiable desire to read Your Word. Oh Your word is good. Give us such a desire to read it and hide it in our hearts that we might not sin against You. God just tell iromeo that you think he is fun. Let him feel and experience just how much You love talking with him every day. Reveal your mighty wonders to him so that he might fall in love with you more and more each day. Let him realize that his only hope is You and that You are so strong and mighty that the devil has no hold over him. God cause him to meditate on the fact that the risen Christ dwells in Him! God he has your Son's power residing in Him! God I pray John 14:12 over his life. "I tell you the truth, anyone who has faith in me will do what I have been doing. He will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father." God teach him what this means for his life. Jesus just pour out your love, mercy, and compassion over him! In Jesus name! Amen!
Left by want2befree88 on Mar 26, 2009 5:28 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

You know, i cant help but be a little annoyed by some of the comments on here. I am a christian who has struggled with homosexuality most of my life, and for those of you who have not dealt with homosexual feelings who have felt compelled to comment on here, be greatful that you dont have to live life struggling with it, because it is HARD. To Reverand anthony - you ask what does one have to gain by a homosexual relationship? To answer your question - how about emotional intimacy, to be loved and feel like someone loves you, to have a connection with someone? No, i do not believe that it is what God wants for us, nor do i believe that that is an excuse to live that way, but for some, they are tired of working so hard and just want to be loved. I believe through the power of God we can be healed and be emotionally restored, but believe me, it is a JOURNEY, and for some a life long one. I was in a relationship with another woman for several years, and it did not bring me sadness and
Left by lisamp7 on Apr 09, 2009 10:44 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

despair. I was very happy, except for the fact that I couldnt carry on that relationship with her and have one with the Lord as well, which ultimately did bring me unhappiness. I felt like the Lord had other plans for my life so I left the lifestyle and have dedicated my life to loving Him and living for Him, and i have faith that one day I too will be able to meet someone of the opposite sex that i actually want to have a relationship with, because i too want to have someone. I wish I didnt struggle with this issue because at 28 years old, i could have already had a husband and family by now. So for those of you who believe you have a position to judge those who struggle with it and make it sound like such an easy thing, remember that it is not something small and irrelevant and easy to overcome. If it was, it would not be as big of an issue morally in this world. Have some compassion!

Left by lisamp7 on Apr 09, 2009 10:45 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

hey lisamp7,

I totally agree with you. It's so hard for me to listen to someone who has no idea what struggling with this is like. It's almost like people are impatient with us or something. But praise God for His grace and compassion! We can't ever forget that satan causes people to say things to us to discourage us and make us want to go back to the lifestyle. He is so crafty. I would encourage anyone who wants to post on here to pray before they do so that it will be God speaking through them. God is so patient with us. He sees us in our struggle as a child learning to walk. If you had a little kid who was learning to walk and they fell you wouldn't start kicking and yelling at them in hate and impatience. If you fall you just reach up for God's hand and keep pressing on you know? Well that's my two cents about all of that. :)
Left by want2befree88 on Apr 10, 2009 1:30 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

lisamp7 I can really relate to your comments. When I first started to reach out for help, I would say "the only reason I am here is because God says it is wrong and there is a better way." We all want to be that one special person to someone. Everybody needs to get grounded in their horizontal relationship with Jesus before they try to get all their needs met vertically through man. You are right. This is a very difficult walk because we can not live without relationships. God made us relational. I know it was so hard to walk away from the women-friend you were with for the Lord. He will see you through and honor your decision. May the Lord bless you and give you peace.
Left by Sydney Johnson on Apr 15, 2009 12:46 AM

# RE: Born Gay?

This was a very interesting story. Thank you for sharing it with us. I used to struggle with this topic until I came across the website BornGay.ProCon.org. It does a really good job demonstrating both sides to the debate on whether sexual orientation is determined at birth. There is also a section on whether Christianity accepts same-sex orientation and homosexual conversion therapy.
Left by Acinomenilk on Apr 15, 2009 8:24 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

I would be interested to hear any comments of advice you would give to a Christian parent of a Homosexual son. Is there any way I can help him? How can I convince him I love him even tho' I don't approve of the lifestyle bc it's sin & harmful to him? I don't want to enable his lifestyle which is anti-Christ right now & then he gets into difficult financial situations bc he can't say "no" to himself. I assure you he was raised to have good character. He is 19. My heart breaks for him & he is so mean & cruel to me & his Dad now. We just don't understand how this all happened & how to make it better. Thank you.
Left by Star on Apr 24, 2009 8:39 PM

# RE: Born Gay?

Hey Star,

I used to struggle with this sin and I can tell you that the best thing that you can do is pray for your son. And it really sounds like you need to pray and fast for him. It really sounds like he has a demonic spirit attacking him (that's why he's acting so evil). Please ask God for direction. It really sounds like God needs to deliver him from this spirit of darkness! I know it's scary, but God and all of heaven is behind you! I'll be praying for you! I know from experience that the person that I used to be with told be that they felt like they were taken over by an outside source which I now know was a demon. Be strengthened in the joy of the Lord most high!
Left by want2befree88 on May 07, 2009 12:16 AM