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I think it starts with a change in perspective. As believers, we're not lacking for intimate relationships. When we get saved, we are reborn of the Spirit and He comes to dwell in us. The Word says that we are the Bride of Christ. In that sense, we are already married and already intimately connected. Part of that, too, is knowing that this intimacy isn't just closeness, but closeness with safety. God knows everything about us, & loves all the we are. We don't have to fear throwing ourselves completely into union with Him, because all that He does for us is for our benefit. If we can start w/ God to learn what true intimacy is, it'll make all our subsequent relationships better.

I definitely agree with theminx1.

I also believe that we as humans tend to look to humans for our comfort BEFORE looking to God for our comfort or loneliness. But God wants us to turn to him first. He wants first priority in our lives. That is one reason he allows us to be lonely for periods.

Also, some people believe that they need to be in a romantic relationship to be fulfilled, but really all we truly need is intimacy with our Lord and Saviour Jesus Christ. Of course, we are social beings that do not like to be alone. However, God wants first place. But when we begin to put him second, he has to show us the right way.

I was deceived. I thought sex was love and love had become my God. I so despartely needed to be loved and that one special person in someones life. I did not know what healthy, rich love was. Because I was so wounded,angry,unforgiving and deceived, God's love could not fully penetrate my heart. I had so many walls up built on lies. Satan does not want us to know how special and loved we are by God. Satan wants to destroy us and God wants to free and protect us. Search for God with all your heart and ask him to remove anything that is blocking Him from you. Jesus loves you and me so very much. I encouage all of us to pursue Jesus will every thing that is in us. Go for Him!!!!

You are dead on, Sydney! Many times, people confuse true love w/ other things like sex or the approval of others. One thing I've discovered is that it's easy to confuse true love with our emotions. The feeling of being in love, meaning the adrenalin rush & such, can be very addicting, just like a drug. The problem is, like any addiction, because it's just providing a buzz & not meeting the real need, we have to consume more & more just to maintain the same high. As it pertains to relationships, if our need for love & significance isn't being met by God, we'll go from person to person, trying to get that fix of feel-good emotions, but never getting satisfied. Jesus said that those who partook of the living water He gave would never thirst again. The great thing about God's love is there are no negative side effects!

I spent most of my life looking for someone to love me. Three marriages later I've come to the conclusion that no one can love me like the Lord. Now I'm told since my marriage is in trouble I can't minister to others with the giftings God has given me. So what will give my life any value then? This is not a homosexual issue...it is a human being issue. We all want relationship. Don't waste your time or life. Go after God.

Tonight, while praying, God spoke to me. I had been walking with Him after leaving the homosexual lifestyle. But I was still missing the physical intimacy that others were getting. The temptations to sin had quieted substantially in my heart and mind but today I purposely fell again! I knew what I was doing was wrong, and I could have walked away anytime. The temptation was not that great. I was just defiant- that I wanted to get what others had and I went for it. Tonight I know that God forgave me. But also I learned that so many times we are just defying God and his plans for our lives just to get our needs met in our way and time. What REALLY hurts, is that each time I fall, it weakens my witness and testimony to others. I pray constantly for my past partners I left behind and for their salvation. But Satan tells me."You are no good. Why would your friends what to leave the gay lifestyle? They will only fail and be miserable like you are! Why would you pray that on them?"

Hey Sydney,
I think that our need for intimate male contact is just that: a need. If we can fill that in healthy ways, the physical diminishes.
When i first left the lifestyle at 21 (6 years ago), the need for a man was strong. But God sent a woman in my life who eventually became my wife and began to teach me how to let her minister to the physical needs. we don't have to be attracted to all women. Just the one God sends. And in those times when my wife recognizes that the need for male contact is strong, she gives me the space to spend time around godly christian men who will give me the male attention i need in a healthy, non sexual manner. Then she teaches me to let her love me. So that causes me to not focus on the loneliness or the need for a man.
I truly believe that if we look not at the immediate physical need but work on how we can fill them in healthy ways, while being willing to put in the work of LEARNING to relate to women, thedesires for physical male contact dies.

tombartig Dear Brother, get back up and continue the race. Find someone you can be accountable to and build a support system. There is no condemnation, but sin does cause us to grieve and gives satan an opening to bombard us with lies. God is right there with you. Draw near to Him, ask forgiveness and move on. He loves you so much!! God bless you!

garrettdrewellis Praise God for the victory in your life!! May the Lord bless your marriage and continue to make Himself very real and present in your life!! God Bless you!!

I know that a long time has passed for me to be posting a comment. I've been single for almost 10 years and after I realized that I needed to be celibate, the lonliness crashed in waves. I still battle with it, but I do know that in the mean time God is healing me, He's making me healthy and whole. I can't even tell you of all the strongholds, and destructive ways I had and didn't realize until my divorce. At anyrate I had to slowly get a life and buy that I don't mean serving others which has it's place. I think Christians rush others out onto the mission field or into ministry before they allow the broken and those maimed by life to be healed. At any rate I started to go to Bible studies and church twice a week and I slowly started to get in touch with who I was and what I like. I don't loneliness is a sin or a sign that you are unspiritual, it's a sign that you are human and want someone to love you. If you are like me, let this be a time of healing and tearing down of strongholds.

OMG, Thank God for you Sydney Johnson, You are such an inspiration. Although am I not gay and cannot relate to how you feel, I am a recovering alcoholic/crackhead with 3 yrs clean and know what it is like to struggle. I have been writing many Bible question sites for answers and tonight I found you. Sydney, I live in Hollywood, Ca and have some gay friends at work and they say they are Christians and I am sure they love the Lord, however they have no intentions of dealing with being gay. So I am thinking "OK", how do I spring this newsflash that being gay is an abomination of God without hurting my dear friends feelings and have them hate me. One of my friends is actually my boss. I love your openness and the love you have for the Lord that you actually say even though you have gay tendencies, you rather live for God. How can I minister to my gay friends without sounding demanding or judgemental? Please help me.
Thank You and God Bless
starr1crenshaw@yahoo.com