Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Several blogs have talked about readers being tempted by same sex attractions, yet being able to resist and not fall into homosexual sin. Praise the Lord you have stayed pure! This has made me reflect on why I fell into the trap of this temptation.

Ever since I can remember I have always struggled with homosexuality. I would cry out to God to take these attractions away, but they seemed to get stronger and stronger. I in turn, got madder and madder at God for not healing my sexuality. I remember getting ready for class one morning and while taking a shower, I just broke down sobbing asking the Lord to please take these feelings away. I felt like they were over taking me. And nothing happened. I made a conscience decision to put my Bible on the shelf and have my first experience. I wish I had never opened the door to this bondage. Why? Why did I give in?

So why did I not reach out for help when I was in middle or high school? Why could I not bring this into the light? I told no one about my struggle. No one. I kept my thoughts and same sex attractions in the dark and never reached out to anyone. Satan had me right where he wanted—isolated and thinking I was the only one who struggled and thought the way I did. How could I possibly love the Lord? I could not confide in my family because one night I heard them say during a TV program that “those people are sick.” I was one of those people. Now, I know that I was not sick, just deeply emotionally wounded.

Here are some reasons why I choose not to reach out for help: 1) Anger-- I was so angry at God, especially for not helping me. 2) Fear—I was so afraid of being rejected and abandoned by family and friends. 3) Pride—I had to keep up my image of having it all together. I did not need someone else’s help. I and my family had no problems. Satan is such a liar. He takes great pleasure in destroying our relationship with our Heavenly Father.

The Lord has restored all the years I lost while living in sin, but I regret making the choice to enter Satan’s traps. I am so sorry and wish I had received help in my teen years. Please reach out to someone for help. Whether you have fallen or not, it is never too late! God wants to set you free from the bondage of same sex attractions. Do not let the enemy have anymore ground in your life. We need each other to fight the battle of principalities and sin. God Bless you all! Reach out TODAY.

Redeemed,

Sydney Johnson

P.S, Check out this powerful video

Print Email to a Friend posted on Monday, August 25, 2008 10:09 AM

Comments on this post

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Praise the LORD Sydney !! Thank God you found a way out and God is always standing right there with his forgiving hand.I am so glad you are on here talking about your personal experiences it really helps people.Thank you and Thank GOD.

Left by miss marie on Aug 27, 2008 12:13 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

I am not homosexual, but being a social worker, I have met and worked with a few in my career. I always choose to be honest with any homosexual about my own feelings toward homosexuality, which is that I feel it is wrong in the eyes of God, but that I would never condemn a person who is homosexual. Rather, I must explain my reasons for my view while explaining God's view of homosexuality. I am always supportive of anyone wanting to leave that lifestyle, and I must make it clear that I would never judge nor condemn anyone, whether gay or straight. Rather, I would condemn the homosexuality. I must always leave the doors of communication open between myself and anyone who is gay, praying for them (and with them, if they will let me). Contrary to what liberals and liberal media (and Satan) would have everyone believe, most people do not hate homosexuals nor do they have homo-phobia. We must love those who are gay, pray, and show them the TRUTH.

Left by starflyer1 on Aug 29, 2008 2:34 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Sydney, what a fresh breath of air you bring! I've known my son, now 21, has been struggling with this issue for years. I didn't know how to approach it, so I waited. He is in his Junior year in college and in a relationship with another student. I've cried till there are no more tears and blamed myself. I can't talk to my husband about it. He's pretty much in denial. I pray alone and ashamed. Last weekend he came home and for the first time ever tried to open up. I can't even imagine the isolation and depth of his pain struggling with this alone. I hope I gave him the right answers. I emphasized our unconditional love for him, but our need to please God. I told him my concerns about his eternal future and fears of him getting AIDS. We still don't talk about "it". But, he calls home more and seems to be reaching out. I've always believed the Lord had a call on his life and this was just another attack. This one seems overwhelming to me though. Thank you for some much needed hope! Cindy

Left by mdrodens on Aug 29, 2008 8:58 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

I wanted to reply to Cindy. I found out about 2 months ago that my 31 year old daugther was gay. I won't go into detail about this but my heart broke when she told me. I thought I had a good relationship with her, but am finding out I am living my past with this. she more or less blames me for a horrible life. I think none of this bothers me because i take all my responsiblity upon me. There can be a guilt in this. A person does not always choose to be gay as others have thought so much. Something happened when they were young that was dramatic and changed their view on relationships with peers. God showed me that He forgave me and that is what matters, Gods forgiveness to me.
My dauther has not talked much to me about this matter and that is ok. She is an adult and is doing what she wants to do. If I try and force her to see my way it will only drive her away. She is a believer and she married and has two kids. I am trusting in Gods wisdom to help me deal with her.

Left by pickledust on Aug 29, 2008 5:48 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

I lived a lesbian lifestyle for close to 30 years. I thought I was "free". I found it very lonely and unfulfilling. I felt so condemned. I now have Jesus Christ in my life and I have left the "gay agenda". I am so glad you found the truth Sydney. May GOD continue to bless you and show you The Way.

Left by Lordspup7 on Sep 01, 2008 4:32 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

mdrodens Praise the Lord your son has started to open up. You and our husband need lots of support during this time. Your son has been isolated with this struggle and so have you guys. Satan loves to isolate his prey. You needs lots of people praying for you, your husband and your son. www.pfox.org is a website that helps support families. The Lord sees all your tears and He will remove your shame. Reach out for help and continue to keep those communication lines open. Your son needs lots of unconditional love. The Lord loves him very much!! God Bless.

Left by sydneyjohnson on Sep 01, 2008 8:58 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

pickledust If parents were perfect then their children would not need God. Your daughter will have to make a choice about how she is going to deal with her life. I at one point in my life wanted my parents to hurt as much as they had hurt me. Wrong attitude on my part. I needed to feel the hurt(perceived or real), forgive them and go after my healing. Your daughter sounds very angry right now. Reach out for your own support and get lot's of people praying for her. www.pfox.org is a website that helps support families. God bless you and know that your Heavenly Father sees your familie's pain.

Left by sydneyjohnson on Sep 01, 2008 9:07 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

As a person who has dealt with the homosexuality issue in my own life, there IS hope in the power of Jesus Christ. I am 54 and have struggled with it, but when my eyes, mind, and spirit were opened by the power of the Holy Spirit, I saw the lifestyle with new life!
I still struggle with the temptations and I really need to let Christ make the escape for me. It is a conscious effort everytime that the tidal wave of temptation comes over me but each time, I learn a little bit more.
Please pray for me as I pray for those who have listed their needs and desires in this blog.
I also ask that you would lift up my friends in prayer. Those are the friends who continue in the homosexual lifestyle and feel no need for a Savior or salvation in their lives. Please pray that their eyes, hearts, and spirits will be opened to the leading of the Holy Spirit. It is a HARD thing for people to walk away from, but it is a decision they must make. NO ONE can make it for them.
God bless!

Left by tombartig on Sep 03, 2008 12:34 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Nobody seems to talk about dealing with the loneliness of accepting that there is to be no intimate relationship in one's life. How does someone help a loved one with the pain of this? especially when it seems so easy for the married heterosexual Christian friends around them to tell them that they "just can't have one"? Are there real answers out there?

Left by hazelt on Sep 04, 2008 8:37 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Great question hazelt about loneliness. I too struggle with that. I would like to adress that in my next write up. You have brought up a very painful loss that can leave a hole in one's soul. Thanks again for your comment.

Left by sydneyjohnson on Sep 04, 2008 10:47 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

tombartig You stay strong and put good supportive Christians around you. Thank you for sharing your struggle. You are right. This is a hard thing to walk away from. I had to ask God to help me want to walk away from it. Hope!! And that was what some of you WERE. This is a battle that can be won!! God Bless you and may He strengthen you each day with His grace and mercy.

Left by sydneyjohnson on Sep 04, 2008 10:56 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Sydney,
I have a friend at work who is living a homosexual lifestyle. He used to be a Christian and a pastor and he is still married but he walked away from all that because he felt as you did that God was not helping him. He just asked me today if I ever know anyone who has walked through his shoes to refer him to them. Would you be willing to listen to him and talk with him and Is there a way that he could contact you?

Left by addyson on Sep 05, 2008 3:17 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

hazelt, Our most intimate relationship should always be with Jesus, seeking & building that relationship 1st & foremost is essential before building any other relationship. I hear you though, companionship. God said "It is not good for man to be alone, I will make him a helper suitable to him (Genesis 2:18)" Then God formed the woman from the man. That is to say not only did God take mans flesh, but I believe he took part of our personalities, behaviors, intellect & divided it equally so that when we become 1 together we are whole. That is why men & women are different, not because we are from different planets, but because we each are 1/2 of a whole person. Somewhere along the line in the life of someone struggling with homosexuality the attraction to being completed by the opposite sex was broken, & it is no doubt a struggle to repair. The enemy attacks us in this way because he knows the fulfillment, happiness, & the power that comes from having a marriage designed by God.

Left by jcprice1 on Sep 05, 2008 10:57 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

The devil constantly seeks to twist the word of God. The devil also seeks to convince the homosexual that he or she can never have that relationship. That is a lie. The devil or man cannot break the purposes of God. Men & women were created by God designed for each other according to God’s purpose. For your loved ones the answer is not that “you cannot have one”. They can have their intimate companionship, through the freedom of Christ anyone can be set free from homosexuality, & pursue a life filled with the Holy Spirit, & a life of companionship from Jesus. Not only that but a life completed with a partner of the opposite sex, where they can find attraction, love, spiritual, emotional, mental & physical fulfillment. This is God’s design & purpose for them to be complete. For anyone struggling in this area, do not believe the lies of the accuser, you can be free, & live the life that God has planned & purposed for you. All you have to do is ask Him for it.

Left by jcprice1 on Sep 05, 2008 10:57 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

hazelt- You are so right! That is EXACTLY what I am dealing with right now. Missing the physical intimacy and relationship with another human being. I see those who I left behind and are still in the homosexual lifestyle, and I honestly feel jealousy because they are "getting their needs met"! Tonight I was "angry" with God because of this very matter. I honestly don't know what the real answer is. I wish I did. However, I continue to walk closely with Christ, rely on His timing, and pray for His peace. His timing is not my timing and His ways are not my ways!

Left by tombartig on Sep 06, 2008 2:49 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Everyone needs the love of God. We were made to love and be love. I ministered to a woman last year that was living a lesbian lifestyle and her girlfriend left her and she was apparently very depressed. I didn't know her very well but one night we got a call to help her neighbor's to minister to him because he was suicide. It was midnight and I was tire and had to work the next day. I was on my way home and the Lord told me to go back because those people were not guarentee another breath. I obeyed and went back to the neighborhood with my husband. We walked into a burglary sitution that just took place and the woman who was living a homo. lifestyle was outside cause she was a witness to the robbery. I didn't know her other than her lifestyle. I tried to reach out to her by telling her that Jesus loves her several time. It didn't register. Than I forgot about it when we got to minister to the family that got burglarized. Two of the members of the family receive Christ.

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 9:40 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

So praise God that two people came to the Lord and the other individual that wanted to commit suicide were delivered. I didn't get home until 1:30am in the morning. The next week I found out the woman that was battling depression and homo. lifestyle killed herself. I was shocked and sad and I wept. Then I remembered the Lord said someone there is not guarenteed another breath. The devil's assignment was for her life. I now realized how much Jesus loves us even though we have free will to choose Him or not. People need the love of God. We are the representation of the Lord. I only wish I tried harder to reach her. I was tired and I didn't discern who the Lord was talking about. We all have a heavy cross to bare. We cannot compare ourselves to others but the cross is death to self and to this fallen world with all its temptation. Some of us have to live as asingle person and some of us suffer abuse and rape. The cross is heavy until we die on it. When we surrender to God daily

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 9:50 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

A way has been made for everyone to be free but it will cost each one of us our own death. Only then can the power of the Holy Spirit possesses us and gives us power to live above this world and all its cares. We wouldn't care for the things of this world. We cannot die to the self and flesh until we ask the Holy Spirit to help us crucify our flesh and that is done daily! The only freedom from this body and world is COMPLETE SURRENDERING TO THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT. His Holy Spirit helps us, comforts us and leads us into all truth as is said in the book of John chap 14-15. To die is to truely live. We exchange our life for His life and our identity is now in Christ. Sexual relationship was only meant for this life only! That is not what will happen in eternity. And this life is temporary. The next is eternal. The season here is a dot compare to what awaits us in eternity. Why care about the things in this life such as relationship and loneliness.

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 9:58 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Paul in phil 3:8-10 saids that "yet indeed I also count all things loss for the excellence of the knowledge of Christ Jesus my Lord, for whom I have suffered the loss of all things, and count them rubbish, that I may gain Christ and be found in Him...THAT I MAY KNOW HIM AND THE POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF HIS SUFFERING, BEING CONFORMED TO HIS DEAT. Paul didn't say he wanted to be conform to His life but rather to His death! That's death to self-total surrender and dependent on Him. He said apart from Me you can do NOTHING. Abide in Me and I will abide in you. THE KEY TO SUSTAINING VICTORY AND TO LIVE ABOVE THE FLESH AND THIS WORLD IS TO DIE TO YOURSELF WITH THE HELP OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT. There are spirital battles and thoughts and demonic plans against us in our mind but if we ask the Holy Spirit to crucify our flesh, we will have victory. WHEN PEOPLE BECOME POSSESS, LED AND WALK IN THE SPIRIT, THEY WON'T WANT THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD THAT ARE DEAD AND TEMPORAL.

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 10:12 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

THAT I MAY KNOW HIM AND THE POWER OF HIS RESURRECTION AND THE FELLOWSHIP OF HIS SUFFERING, BEING CONFORMED TO HIS DEAT. Paul didn't say he wanted to be conform to His life but rather to His death! That's death to self-total surrender and dependent on Him. He said apart from Me you can do NOTHING. Abide in Me and I will abide in you. THE KEY TO SUSTAINING VICTORY AND TO LIVE ABOVE THE FLESH AND THIS WORLD IS TO DIE TO YOURSELF WITH THE HELP OF HIS HOLY SPIRIT. There are spirital battles and thoughts and demonic plans against us in our mind but if we ask the Holy Spirit to crucify our flesh, we will have victory. WHEN PEOPLE BECOME POSSESS, LED AND WALK IN THE SPIRIT, THEY WON'T WANT THE THINGS OF THIS WORLD THAT ARE DEAD AND TEMPORAL.

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 10:12 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

The biggest enemy we have is ourself and then the devil. Our weak dying flesh. But we have resurrection power and we can say "no" to sin and we are not slave to sin any longer. Death and sin the Lord has conquered-Hallejulah. Is this easy? No! BUT ITS EASY WHEN YOU DON'T TRY TO RESIST SIN IN YOUR OWN STRENGTH. YOU DO IT THROUGH THE POWER OF THE HOLY SPIRIT! ITS CHRIST IN YOU.ITS NO LONGER YOU THAT LIVE BUT CHRIST THAT LIVES IN YOU. The problem that people have today in the body of Christ they don't have the knowledge of how to wage warfare, they don't know who they are in Christ and the power that they have in Him and they are not willing to die to the flesh. WE ARE WARRIORS AND WE MUST STAND. SUBMIT TO GOD, RESIST THE DEVIL AND HE WILL FLEE! BUT SUBMISSION AND SURRENDERING TO GOD COMES FIRST. I used to have many bondages in my life. my family was into the occult and idolatry. there were adultery, violence, rage, voodoo, molestation, sleeping with prostitute

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 10:22 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

My family and life was a mess. I was a statistic-a bad statistic. I almost killed my husband because of domestic abuse. I was violent, angry and perverted. I lived a permiscuous lifestyle and even had dreams of homosexual relationship. I had hate, rage and unforgiveness. I was molested and been emotionally and sexually abuse for most of my life. I began to manefest these symptoms. It wasn't me. It was the demonic oppression in my life because of doors that had been opened through my family and through my bad choices. these things gave the enemy a foothold. the lord said give no place to the devil. I was bounded and closed to demon control. The church tried help me but they couldn't. One day I cried out to God in TRUE repentence and desperation. I thought I truely repented but the Lord reached down in His mercy to me and told me in an audible that I needed to forgive genuinely, myself and others and receive Him as my Lord. I wasn't saved and have been going to church for years!

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 10:31 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

When I had a true encounter with God and I seek Him and His Holy presence. He filled of Himself and His love that I didn't and don't want anything this world has to offer. Today I don't allow garbage in my home in terms of what I watch, listen to or associate with. I love the Lord and I Am free in Jesus name. It took fighting, standing firm in God's truth, in obedience, and in renewing my mind with the truth instead of lies. Then I stayed free. Today my husband and I minister to the broken, the lost letting them know that NOTHING IS IMPOSSIBLE WITH GOD. We must allow Him total control. HE IS THE ONLY PERSON YOU AND I CAN TRUST. HE IS TRUTH. HE IS LOVE. HE IS THE ONLY THING GOOD IN THIS LIFE. THIS WORLD WILL END AND WE HAVE TO KEEP OUR EYES ON THE THINGS THAT ARE ABOVE.I love His presence, His relationship and I don't want anything to hinder that. IM SATISFIED AND FILLED!Until we truely find and know God, we will look somewhere else for fullfillment. There is nothing out there.

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 10:39 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

When you have Jesus, you won't feel the loneliness and hunger for the things of this life. You take on His Divine Nature! You want what He wants. YOu hurt when He hurts. You love the people He loves and created. You have to love the worst to have the love of Christ. THE ONLY THING THAT PEOPLE NEED IS JESUS. HE'S THE SOLUTION TO ALL THE WORLD'S ILL. ITS SEPARATION FROM GOD. MANY CHRISTIAN TODAY DONT EVEN KNOW THE LOVE OF GOD OR HAVE A REAL INTIMACY WITH HIM.THAT'S WHY BONDAGES COME. WE WANT WHAT THIS LIFE CAN GIVES US INSTEAD OF WANTING TO HAVE HIS LIFE IN US. When we go to heaven none of this stuff the world cares about will matter.when you look upon the face of Jesus, the things of this world becomes strangely dimmed. He died for us. took the power back from the devil. we are free from him.now we have the key.he is under our feet. luke 10:19 said He gives you power over ALL the powers of the enemy! what more must God do.It is now our turn to act & do our part. god bless everyone here

Left by 1father1son1holyspirit on Sep 06, 2008 10:47 AM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Sydney,
I have a friend who used to be a pastor (and married) but all his life felt he was gay. He prayed and prayed like you did but to no avail. He is now living in the gay lifestyle and would rather not be gay and be with his wife but feels he has to be true to what he feels. He asked if I know of anyone he can talk to who has gone through a similar situation as him. Is there a way I can give him your email address?

Left by addyson on Sep 06, 2008 3:23 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

addyson Please give him this blog and the Exodus-International.org website He needs to reach out to someone in person in his area. Encourage him to read all of the articles in this blog. Feelings lie. Somewhere he was deeply wounded and then satan poured salt in those wounds. Freedom from this is not free and easy. It took years for these feelings to take root and it will take time to unveil the lies that caused them in the first place. Continue to love him and encourage him to get counceling and prayer. He has got to bring this struggle out into the light. He can win this battle, but it will not be eazy. Thank you for caring. He is blessed to have you as his friend. Take care.

Left by SydneyJohnson on Sep 09, 2008 9:36 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

tombartig I understand your frustration. Touch is very important. I would cry myself to sleep at night at times missing the closeness of someone. I had a hole in my sole and I thought I would never get through the pain. I joined a home group and found Jesus with skin on. I got lot's of hugs and sometimes I would ask someone of the same sex to just hold me. I encouage you to find safe people who can just hold you. God loves you and sees your hurt. Continue to tell Him what you are feeling. He can handle it and He wants to fill that void. God bless you and keep running the race--one day,sometimes one minute at a time.

Left by SydneyJohnson on Sep 09, 2008 10:05 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

1father1son1holyspirit Your Papa in heaven is very fond of you. May the Lord bless the work you and your husband are doing for the kingdom. To God be the Glory

Left by SydneyJohnson on Sep 09, 2008 10:28 PM

# RE: Fight Homosexuality by Reaching Out

Hy everyone I as just fed up with myself, i just google HOW TO FIGHT HOMOSEXUALITY and found this blog!! This story really reflects through what i am going through!!! Please pray for me, im christian, have christian parents and helping in the church but noone knows i am gay! I really dont know how to get over this. Ive had lots of gay partners recently and i dont want to hurt my parents and God. I know this is wrong, Ive prayed so much to get rid of this but its just not happening. I find myself getting worst and worst, and living a secret life is just suffocating me.
Please keep me in your prayers and I just need help please!

Left by raubee577 on Sep 10, 2009 9:26 PM

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