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Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Being attracted to the same sex was just as normal and natural to me as it was for a man and woman to be attracted to each other.  I did not want to be drawn to the same sex, in fact, I do not think anybody feels elated with the discovery of their homosexual feelings, but for me it was all I had ever known.

I tried really hard to be a heterosexual.  I dated and thought if only I would get married, have 2.5 children and live in a house with a white picket fence, then that would “cure” my homosexual desires. 

My conversation with God went something like this: God, I am trying to be something I am not.  If homosexuality is really wrong, then please take these intense desires away from me!!!  Please, in my heart of hearts, I do not want to be gay, but this is all I have ever known and it feels so right!  Why God?  Why me?  I cannot tell anybody about this struggle!  I can’t!  I have heard friends and family members saying “those people are sick” and I am one of those people!  Why won’t you help me?  Am I sick?  God, I am so afraid of being rejected.  I just cannot tell anyone.  I can’t!  End of conversation.

I went off to college still pleading with God to free me.  Finally I’d had it!  I told God if he was not going to heal me, then I must have been born this way, and I just could not and would not fight these desires anymore!!  God, take a hike!  Hence, I had my first homosexual experience my Sophomore year in college.  What a  relief!!  I felt loved, secure, and connected.  I could breathe again.  Yea!! I must have been born this way.  It felt so right.  So, for the next 10 to 12 years, I lived secretly in same sex relationships.

Now, remember, at one point I had God and no relationship and had NO PEACE.  Now I had a relationship and no God, and guess what– NO PEACE.  Somehow I needed to bring the two together. As long as God was first in my life and I could back up my homosexuality with the Bible, then I would embrace my sexuality and be at peace.

So I started searching. I talked with people who seemed content with God and their homosexuality.  I went to several gay churches and to my disappointment, they seemed to worship their sexuality and the right to love who they wanted to more than God.  I really did not want to give up my homosexuality.  I wanted it to be right.

I then started going to a Christian counselor and he told me about a group called Exodus International where people had actually found freedom from homosexuality. (Now freedom does not mean they were all married, but they were no longer in bondage and controlled by their sexuality.)  You mean I was not born this way! Then where did these intense homosexual desires come from?

My search to make my sexuality right led me to Virginia Beach and a program called Living Waters. Going through this program took me back to many childhood  memories – way back– (no wonder I had felt this way at such an early age) and  I began to get in touch with very deep and painful emotional wounds.  The Lord began to reveal the lies I had bought into and why I was reacting the way I did.  This was and is an extremely painful yet freeing process.

Because I had such a hard time wanting to walk out of the lifestyle, I would pray Philippians 2:13 “ for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to his good purpose.”  God, please give me the desire to want to walk away, and then give me the strength to do so.  When I finally swallowed my pride and decided to bring my struggle into the light, I found a personal relationship with Jesus Christ along with a lot of supportive, loving friends who have helped me heal and kept me accountable.  My identity is now found in Jesus Christ, and no longer in that one person.  Who I am does not depend on who I am with. You see, I had made my need to be loved my god, instead of allowing God to be my love.  What a difference!  God is love, not love is God.           

Sin is sin.  What sin are you a slave to?  There is freedom this side of heaven.  Romans 8:37 says, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.”  You cannot set yourself free.  God’s truth and his love will set the captive free!  I used to think people could not change, but I am living proof.  Is change easy?  Absolutely not!!  In fact, walking out and staying out of my sin has been the hardest and most painful experience of my life, but worth every tear I have shed.  I would not trade the joy, freedom and  relationship with my Jesus for anything. I am no longer a slave to my sexuality.  I Corinthians 6:11 says, “And that is what some of you WERE.  But you were washed, and you were sanctified, and you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ...”  Amen.   

Praise the Lord for giving me the desire, strength, and courage to walk away.

To God be all the glory!


Print     Email to a Friend    posted on Thursday, July 10, 2008 4:38 PM

Comments on this post

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

To the young man struggling with sexual addiction and falling, Jesus loves you so much right now, this very moment. He died for you while you were a sinner, not when you finally got cleaned up. I encourage you to find someone you can trust and confide in. Someone you can be accountable to. I tried to fight my sexual addictions alone and they would and did overtake me. I needed help, but was afraid to tell anyone of my struggle. I was ashamed and so fearful of what people would think and that they would reject me. Satan had me isolated and right where he wanted me—believing his lies. When I finally reached out for help, I found the total opposite. Jesus used people with skin on to love me out of my sin. At times, I still have unwanted same sex attractions, but they do not conquer me. I have wonderful friends who I go to for accountability and I am the conqueror in Christ Jesus. There is help and there is freedom. Jesus wants to set you free!
Left by sydneyjohnson on Jul 11, 2008 8:26 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

How do you love the sinner but hate the sin? So many people who struggle with this issue say it is just the way they are so when you love them, but reject what they are doing, they say you are in essence rejecting them. I have a family member dealing with this issue and I don't know ho to reach out to them. I find myself erring on the side of condoning the sin, simply because I don't want to hurt them. I know this is wrong. I just don't know what to do. Do I have to keep saying, I think homosexuality is wrong? They know I feel that way, so I just love them, but sometimes that feels like approval of their lifestyle. Help!
Left by daisy2803 on Jul 11, 2008 11:30 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Sydney, once againg you have written a fantastic article, and a great testimony. So many people struggle with this and you are bringing it to the fore front to deal with it! Great job! We overcome by the power of our testimony and yours is powerful - I have a challenge for you, since so many believe that they are born this way because they remember these "feelings" starting at a young age. It would be powerful to hear what happened to you that led you to this sin. You stated "Going through this program took me back to many childhood memories – way back– (no wonder I had felt this way at such an early age) and I began to get in touch with very deep and painful emotional wounds." Sharing those memories and experiences will help others to identify the source of their sin. For me my sexual sins ended with an addiction to sex and pornography, it started by being molested at age 5, then again at age 9. The honest open truth will not only set you free, but others as well.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 11, 2008 11:47 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Daisy2803, for homosexuals the openness of their sexuality is what they are led to believe is freedom. So therefore many assert their sexuality before you even meet them, by the way they dress, mannerisms, men acting effeminate, women acting masculine. Now contrast that with normal heterosexual behavior, generally heterosexuals do not constantly have to reaffirm their sexuality. Now before I go further I know there are male chauvinists that constantly have to reaffirm their masculinity with stories of indiscriminate sex and the like. Their sin is just as bad, the same for the woman who flaunts her sexuality with suggestive clothing and behavior. All of these people are allowing their sexuality to define who they are. They glorify their sexuality, worship it, and praise the same behavior in others.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 11, 2008 12:14 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Your question as to how to love someone and still not condone their behavior can be answered this way, if someone you loved was a male chauvinists openly make remarks that are derogatory to women, exhibiting behavior like “hitting on” your friends inappropriately, you take them aside, and first reaffirm your love for them in this way, Brother you know I love you, Identify the specific behavior, saying you want to “*******” my friend, while I and others can hear you is unacceptable, Tell them what you want in this instance “please stop” would be good. Lastly and most importantly reaffirm the person and your relationship. Brother, you are a brilliant person, you know that I love you with all my heart, and there is nothing you that will change that.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 11, 2008 12:15 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

People are aware of their sins; you do not have to constantly beat on them. Say something when they are exhibiting a behavior that is specific to their sin, your silence at that point in condoning. A great example would be parents telling their son who has told them he is homosexual, “Son you know we love you, you are always welcome to our home, I know what you believe about yourself, however I cannot condone your behavior so no you cannot bring your boyfriend to dinner. Son you are the apple of my eye, I will always love you, and nothing you do will change that. To love the person is to not reject them.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 11, 2008 12:15 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Lastly, this is not a comfortable thing to do, I realize that. People do not like to be reminded, that is convicted of their sins. As conviction happens, it reminds us that we are rejecting our Father, we cannot do it ourselves, we need the Father, Jesus, and the Holy Spirit. At first your loved one may react by rejecting you, telling you “If you really loved me you would accept me the way I am.” Your response “I do accept you, just not what you are doing.” Here is what not to do, do not walk up to your family member at a family gathering, and this person is not displaying any homosexual behavior and say “you know if you keep living this way you are going to hell.” That is just rude and shows no love. There is a right time and place, use discernment. Only correct behavior when it is being displayed. If you want to counsel your family member about their decision do so in private, be the one person they can trust to be honest about the conflict that is going on inside of them.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 11, 2008 12:30 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Also daisy2803 please see this other CBN blog on this discussion.

http://blogs.cbn.com/homosexuality/archive/2008/06/24/homosexuality.lets-talk.aspx#790
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 11, 2008 12:31 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Yes you sought God to free you, Amen, but what do you say to the fact that a few weeks after conception a wash of testosterone covers the fetus. Depending on the strengths of the testosterone, you get a brain that is either male with feminine development is the wash is low. If it is high, you get a male with strong male charachteristics. This is just science. That is why there is a 20% pop. of males being born with homosexual tendencies? An women with male chacteristics. I am not condoning homosexuality by any means. But this is a fact. How do you minister to these people. They were in fact born this way. As a child is born with Down Syndrom etc. Sin is Sin. But if someone can can address this issue for me I would be greatful.
Left by berdseye on Jul 13, 2008 2:43 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Young people don't let what these older guys say cut you down or make you feel like Jesus will treat you like a second class citizen. It's a lot easier to control your sexual desires when you get older, but please use your mind and your heart and be safe. An unrestrained lifestyle is very dangerous. We all have to deal with sin in our lives until the day we die, but never give up the good fight. Jesus loves you and me no matter what we are dealing with, now. We don't earn our way into His presence. It is by His Grace alone, so no matter what your station is in life, go to Church,study His Word and pray. He loves you just as much as He loves any of us and don't you believe any one that tells you anything different. The devil trys to seperate us from God's Love with sin, but God's Grace is much stronger than the sin in us. Have Faith and your spirit will connect with God's Spirit and you will know that these words are true. Be strong! Jesus really does love you just the way you are.
Left by jedribit on Jul 13, 2008 7:33 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Berdseye, I will be honest, I have never heard of a testosterone wash? I would like to see any material confirming what you are saying. I do know for sure that 3 to 4 weeks after conception, the embryo is still feeding off of the yolk sack and is biologically separate from the mother. The umbilical cord has not formed so no hormones produced by the mother can influence the embryo, further the embryo itself cannot produce the any hormones at this stage, and physiologically there is no mechanism in the uterus for producing testosterone. Gender was determined at conception by either an X or Y chromosome. Gender characteristics are not present until 12 weeks of gestation in the fetal stage when the sexual organs begin to form. At 3 weeks the mesoderm is developing and cells that have anything to do with gender or its characteristics are not developed. It would be impossible even placed in pure testosterone at this point that this would have anything to do with femininity or masculinity.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 14, 2008 3:51 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

To further answer the question about “being born homosexual”. There are 3 main stages of sexual development that we go through. The first is between 8 & 12 weeks gestation in the fetal stage, this is when the sexual organs develop and for men the testes produce a testosterone surge to further push male development. For women there is an estrogen surge which pushes female development. The next stage comes right at birth or a few hours there after, for men there is a huge testosterone surge, and for women a huge estrogen surge. After both of these surges the hormone levels drop and both genders undergo general physical developments that are very similar, and generally non-sexually specific. This continues through the prepubescent years from birth to age 11 or 12.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 15, 2008 6:25 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

During prepubescent years gender roles are learned by observing the dominant masculine and feminine examples in our lives, for most it is their mother and father. The gender behaviors of the parents or other dominant examples are what children will mimic and seek in the opposite sex when they are older. During these years our gender roles are not influenced by the major sexual hormones, simply because we are not producing them in an amount that can (if we did it would trigger puberty). This is the key time for the development of the masculine or feminine mind, and masculine or feminine personality traits. The last stage of sexual development is puberty where the mental and personality developments we learned over the last 11 to 12 years are concretized by hormones and physical development.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 15, 2008 6:25 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

There is no one-time factor that fully determines your sexuality. It is composed of many factors, interrupting any of them can have adverse affects. For instance studies have shown that women who smoke or drink during the 8-12 week fetal period severely reduce the testosterone surge for their male children and the estrogen surge for their female children. However a reduction in testosterone does not produce an increase in estrogen which would be necessary for feminization of a male fetus, the same is true for females the low estrogen does not in turn produce an increase of testosterone. What these low hormone levels do is produce children with that could have slow development and reproductive problems. However during the latter part of pregnancy if a mother stops drinking or smoking and begins a healthy diet, once the child is born they can have a normal hormone surge and return to a normal developmental state. So even if one stage is interrupted you can have normal sexual development.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 15, 2008 6:26 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

It is also important to note that the role of testosterone and estrogen are not only for sexual development, but play large roles in endocrine function and metabolic function as well. We only hear about the sexual part of these hormones and rarely about there other functions. Women produce testosterone from their ovaries and the majority of it is converted to estrogen. Men produce estrogen that aid in metabolic control and other body functions. There are many factors to development of an individual’s sexuality and these hormones are just one.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 15, 2008 6:26 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

More than anything your environment determines the development of your sexuality whether it is in the womb or outside of it. There is no genetic link to homosexuality, only heterosexuality by receiving either an X or Y chromosome. The truth is no matter when it starts, it is a choice, whether the choice a mother makes during pregnancy or a choice someone makes in molesting a child, or an absent indifferent father it is still a choice. And just like Adam and Eve, you as an individual with have to choose whether you are going to sin against God or not. We did not commit the original sin but because of the choices of Adam and Eve we are captive to it, until we make the choice to accept Jesus.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 15, 2008 6:27 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

For many that are struggling with homosexuality they did not commit the original sin, but are now faced with the choice? Do I choose life through Jesus Christ or death through sin? For the wages of sin is death. I encourage you to choose life, choose Jesus, and know that you have a choice. Do not believe the liar the devil the king of lies; he wants to deceive you, making you think you have no choice. Jesus died to give you freedom, the freedom to choose death or life. Choose life! Choose Jesus the living Son of the living God.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 15, 2008 6:27 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

God does not create homosexuals. But I believe someone can be wounded at such a very young age that they may think they were created that way. The foundation of our identities begins in the womb. Then the first 5 to 6 years of our lives are extremely crucial. If someone is emotionally wounded at such a young age, they may not remember these hurts that could lead to same sex attractions. People struggling with homomosexual feelings are desperately trying to fill a void in their life. Everyone’s situation is different and then Satan, being the opportunist he is, sees the hurt and goes after it with all his lies. I was wounded so early that I thought I was created gay. I did some hard work through counseling and prayer. Jesus took me back to memories I had no clue were effecting me. Jesus helped me put the broken pieces of my life back together. Jesus did it. I could not do it on my own. He is the potter and I had to submit and be willing to look at all the hurt and the lies.
Left by sydneyjohnson on Jul 15, 2008 8:02 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

To the young man who is HIV positive. You are deeply loved by your Father above. Jesus can restore the years that the locus have eaten. Be encouraged and press into your Abba. He can make the remaining years of your life, no matter how many they may be, the best you have ever experienced. His grace and mercies are new everyday. Look for Him. Enjoy Him. Do not let Satan rob you of the joy you can have each day of your life.
Left by sydneyjohnson on Jul 15, 2008 8:03 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

So what causes unwanted same sex attractions? It is all I had ever known. I did not ask for these attractions. Why me Lord? Where in the world did they come from? For women, the bonding between them and their mother is fractured, and their father did not affirm them. For the men, the bonding between them and their father is fractured and they over identify with their mother. Now this is an extremely simplistic explanation. How these wounds occur is different for everyone and there could be other causes- sexual abuse, etc. We all have our own wounded stories. Children are survivors. They are wonderful observers, but lousy interpreters. When painful circumstances happen, they do what they can to survive. So, in essence, women are looking for the love of their mother and men are looking for the love of their father. These are extremely deep, painful wounds that only the Lord Jesus Christ can heal.
Left by sydneyjohnson on Jul 15, 2008 8:05 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I am not condoning homosexuality nor am I. But I have a family member who is. I just finished reading a number 1 best seller. I picked up while in the airport in Europe. "Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Maps". Pages 192 to200. By Allen and Barbera Pease They give case studies and the hormone influence in the womb I refered to earlier. This is the therory to explain why it is not a choice. I guess the best thing is for Christian scientist and Doctors to counter write and publish information contrary to these studies. Not just in Christian periodicals but secular as well.
Left by berdseye on Jul 19, 2008 1:49 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Many here are trying to remove a speck from someone else's eye, when they have a log in their own eye.I think most here are trying to help, but some of you are only hurting these children of God. "If" being gay is a sin, then it's no bigger of a sin then anyone else here has. Nobody on this earth is free of sin in their lives. We all have the same problem. We are not perfect. Receive our God's Grace & Mercy and stop hurting your own brothers & sisters. None of us know all the answers. Some things we will never know, until we get to heaven. How much begging and pleading to God does a gay person have to do before God makes them straight? Wouldn't our earthly father not grant us this request immediately? God has made us the way he wanted us made. He doesn't need our approval. Remember,if the devil can get Christians to spend their time feeling defeated, then Christians will not be maturing in Christ, much less trying to help others. So, be careful what you say here.
Left by jedribit on Jul 19, 2008 1:51 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Acts 15:10-11 (The Message)

"So why are you now trying to out-god God, loading these new believers down with rules that crushed our ancestors and crushed us, too? Don't we believe that we are saved because the Master Jesus amazingly and out of sheer generosity moved to save us just as he did those from beyond our nation? So what are we arguing about?"
Left by jedribit on Jul 19, 2008 1:56 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

jedribit, I don't think we are arguing at all. The purpose of these posts is to help others that are struggling with this particular sin. You are correct that this sin is no more wrong than any other sin. Sin is sin. This is an open forum for all to discuss idea’s and gain insight on how to deal with a sinful behavior that affects a great deal of people including Christians in an open and honest way. When I see anyone struggling with there sins and seeking help, my heart goes out to them with love. Through Sydney sharing his testimony I believe many people are being set free, just by knowing that they are not just the only ones that face these struggles, knowing that they are not alone.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 21, 2008 10:29 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

The best I can do as a minister is try to offer practical counsel based on the word of God. By no means do I or anyone else have all of the answers, and if you read through my posts you will see that I am by no means perfect. I do not see where we have loaded anyone down or increased their yoke. The main focus of our replies has been to seek God first, pray and ask for direction. To make Jesus the Lord of your life, and through Him you can be free! The rest of the debate about being “born this way” part of the struggle we all face with the enemy, the enemy is a deceiver, every believer needs to know that. The enemy has power on earth and will do everything he can to deceive you into continuing in your sin. If he cannot get your soul because you are saved, then he will do his best to make you the most miserable Christian he can, by making you feel unworthy of God’s gift, if you were not worthy, God would not have done it!
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 21, 2008 10:34 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I applaud this blog and all media that allows for the free discussion of ideas. Where people can feel safe and seek answers. The worse thing I think we can do is sit in the darkness feeling alone and not seek help. No matter what your sin, and no matter how much you sin God loves you, Jesus died for you, you can be forgiven, and find the love of a Father who approves you, and deeply, profoundly, and completely loves you. Any place that allows me to share that is great to me.
Left by jcprice1 on Jul 21, 2008 10:39 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I just want to say, to all who have struggled with this issue and can say that I am delivered by faith and am being delievered Praise God. I was a leader in my church and became entangled in a lesbian relationship. I left God for 13 years, but becasue of a praying mother and friends I am now back submitted to the will of God for my life. I do agree the transition has not been easy, but the more of the Word of God that I hear, and the more I grow closer to God in prayer and Worship the reside of my past lesbian life continues to fade away and for this I am grateful. To the person who may not know how to talk with someone who is experiencing this issue, without feeling like you are condoning the behavior let me tell you what worked with me: the truth being spoken in love. My mother loved me back into the Kingdom of God. She told me the truth about the life I was leading, that it was not God's will for my life, but she continued to love me and that made all the difference.
Left by delievered1 on Jul 22, 2008 10:03 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Hello bloggers. I have been with my family for the past couple of weeks. Hence, my lack of blogging. Forgiveness is so crucial to healing. To spend time with my mom and dad is such a blessing. There was a time when I did not,nor could not because I was so full of anger and unforgiveness. Unforgiveness is such a huge block in healing one's emotions. Forgiving all those who had hurt me was very necesary and freeing. I was free to expeience God's love and others love. Their love did not just seem to roll off me anymore. Love started to penetrate my heart. Unforgiveness can turn into bitterness and one's heart can become hard and cold. Do not go by feelings. It is an act of your will to forgive and God will help release you from it's chains. Forgiveness is not about the other person changing. It is about you releasing them to God so he can do His work with them if they let Him. I can only change me. Praise God He helped me let go of my anger and rage!
Left by sydneyjohnson on Jul 30, 2008 1:30 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

There is an excelent article from the book A Strong Delusion: Confronting the "Gay Christian" Movement by Joe Dallas. Yes, we are all sinners and when we lovingingly challange the homosexual lifestyle, "we do so as sinners approaching sinners, nothing more." "Rev. Andrew Aquino of the Columbus Baptist Association expressed it perfectly during a recent interview: My message to the homosexual is: We love you. Come and struggle with us against sin. Don't give into it." There is hope for those struggling with unwanted same-sex attractions, NOT condemnation. Sin is destructive and separates us from God. So we should all try to get set free from sin, not keep on sinning because of God's grace and mercy. He does not want to see us get hurt by sin. He does not want us to see ourselves as defeated, but as overcomers. Is it easy to overcome--NO, by no means. That is why we need to stay close to God and why we need each other. Easy--NO! WORTH IT--YES!!
Left by sydneyjohnson on Jul 30, 2008 2:18 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I don't really recall when I first felt attraction to another guy. It seems like it happened gradually. My dad is a good man, but my mom was very dominant in our home. My dad is artistic and neat and polite. He was never the typical dad. He wasn't interested in sports and as a child I was never encouraged to play. My parents' relationship ended around my Senior year in High School. I went a to a very small private school and was very sheltered and protected. I recall hearing some of the more "unprotected/unsheltered" boys at my school talking about sex and girls, and I just remember thinking how sinful they were. I had never been given the "birds and bees" talk. I don't think I really knew what sex really was until I was about 20 years old. I never really understood the concept. I just knew the feeling that a guy gets and I had learned to gratify myself at a young age.
Left by sanginbp76 on Aug 04, 2008 5:11 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I believe that the internet era is what really messed me up. I spent alot of time at my incredible grandparents' home. My grandfather is a retired minister and my spiritual role model. He had an office in the upstairs of the house. I spent hours on end in his office, alone, looking at images of naked men. I felt so dirty. I had no idea why I wanted to do that. The habit grew and I wanted to look at nude pictures of men every time I got a chance.

Around the age of 26 I moved out on my own. I still was adddicted to nude images, but having my own place and TOO much privacy allowed me to spend way more time and explore deeper into the homosexual world. I began to look for more graphic images and finally found video websites of actual homosexual intercourse. At first I was sickened by my decision to look at it. But, just as anything else...I grew accustomed to it and started to "crave" it.
Left by sanginbp76 on Aug 04, 2008 5:17 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I'm now 31 years old. Still single, but I'm attracted to women. I've never messed around with another man. I've never had sex with anyone. But my mind is filled and burnt with images. I can't go anywhere without noticing other men, or examining their bodies. I desire to be married one day soon, but I know that I have to allow God to give me victory over this issue. I put filters on my computer, but in a moment of weakness, I turned them off again and started back on the path of destruction.

I love the Lord. I've been involved in ministry in church my entire life. Sometimes, I wonder how God has continued to allow me to be used by Him. I'm embarassed by my "hidden sin" and I'm tired of the struggle. My worst fear is one day having to tell my my future spouse that I struggled with bi/homosexual desires. I feel so dirty and so unworthy of God or any Godly young woman.

Please pray for me. Pray that I will gain victory/deliverance and be healed of this horrible sin-sickness.
Left by sanginbp76 on Aug 04, 2008 5:24 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Sanginbp67, God loves you so much! He sees your heart and how you want to do what is right. Do not hesitate to get prayer and/or counceling. Bring your struggle into the light with Godly trusted friends and your sin's power along with the shame and guilt will melt away. This is like bungy jumping. You take a deep breath and jump. You are forgiven and washed clean by the blood of the Lamb. Do not let the lies of Satan rob you of the truth and your freedom in Christ. I had prayer and was litterally pulling the sinful images out of my mind. You can find freedom. Find a trusted friend you can be accountable to when you are tempted to go on line. Thank you so much for sharing your struggle. You have already started to break the hold of the sin by this blog. God bless you and may the Lord bring a Godly woman to share your heart for the Lord with. You are not defeated, but you are an overcomer!!
Left by sydneyjohnson on Aug 06, 2008 2:03 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Hi sanginbp76. Yes, the behavior that you are doing is wrong and i will pray 4 you. However, don't condemn yourself. All of us experience issues with sin and they all are wrong. None is worst than the other. And when you do find a wife, God will send her. So God will send someone who is excepting of your issues. No one is perfect so your wife won't be perfect either. She will have her own struggles as well. You will be o.k. and if you keep faith and do things to prove your faith. God will deliver you.
Left by tcs1985 on Aug 07, 2008 3:06 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I really appreciate your words of encouragement and hope, Sydney and TCS1985. God's working in my life right now and I know that this is the turning point if I'll allow HIM to take over, full control. I have shared this issue with my best friend and I know that he is holding me up in prayer.

It's hard not to condemn me, when I see what a great, fulfilling and blessed life I could be living if I could break completely free. I have faith (small faith) that God will deliver me and that I will find that Godly woman that HE intends for me to spend my life and love with.

Continue to pray for me as I battle through this with the Lord!

Left by sanginbp76 on Aug 07, 2008 6:11 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Sanginbp76,

The Lord Jesus is and aways will be strong in your life. I will not bore you with the issues which I have and continue to face everyday.

Just remember that Paul asked for a thorn in his side to be removed, and God said no.

Look what Paul did for all of us. Take care man. I know how hard this is!

Jeff

Left by falcon978 on Aug 09, 2008 2:13 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

God bless you Sanginbp76. Do not give up and do not give in. You have the mind of Christ and greater is He that is in you than He that is in the world. Hold your thoughts captive to the obedience of Christ. Thank you for your honesty. It's inspirational and heartfelt. Our Heavenly Father is mighty and you will find healing and deliverence in Him. Consider contacting Exodus International for further referrals and support information regarding this process of healing and deliverence. Surrender your life to Him completely and allow His love to touch and heal you. You are loved. I will be praying for you. Please surround yourself with much love, support, accountability and with those that can disciple you. God bless you. The devil is a liar.
Left by 1Father1Son1HolySpirit on Aug 18, 2008 5:53 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I really appreciate all the encouragementy from Sydney, TCS1985 and Jeff. I have my moments when I struggle more than others. Just continue to lift me up and I'll do the same for you all!

Left by sanginbp76 on Aug 18, 2008 4:23 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I am a college freshman and I have been dealing with these feelings since middle school I think. I don't know why I have these bad feeling but ever since I've had them all I thought about is trying to get rid of them. I pray every night that God will take them away. I have no intention of being in a homosexual relationship and I don't condone it at all. All I want is for the feelings to go away! My greatest desire for my life is to grow up and find someone that I love and can marry and have kids with! I just want to lead a life according to the way God meant for us live! I am attracted to men, but every time I think it's going to happen one day a little voice in my head says, "It won't work out! Your not meant to live a happy normal life!" I hate that little voice! All I want is to live life the way God wants me to and to meet someone that is a Christian that I can honestly love! I ask that you PLEASE pray for me!!!
Left by lk1234 on Sep 09, 2008 3:18 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

lk1234 Reach out for help. Please read my article Fight Homosexuality--Reach Out. I wish I had at your age or sooner. You sound a lot like I did. This was not what I wanted to struggle with and I had no idea where these unwanted same sex attractions came from. There is freedom and you do not have to be tormented by them. Bring your struggle into the light and reach out. Do not try and overcome this by yourself. You need support. God sees your pain and your heart. Hang in there. One day at a time. His grace and mercies are new every day. God bless you and may He keep you safe in His arms. He's got you.
Left by SydneyJohnson on Sep 09, 2008 10:16 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

Sydney Johnson, I'm so afraid to bring it into the light! I know that I need to but it's so hard! My biggest fear in my life is that my family will leave me or not love me anymore! My family is strongly against homosexuality and I don't like it either! I have had breakdowns before where I feel really depressed and sick to my stomach because of what I'm being tormented with. Some times it is even hard to eat, especially right now. I don't know why this happened to me, but I do think God is trying to help me! Two days ago I just got the urge to go on to CBN.com. When I was browsing the page I came across your blog and read your story and just broke down and cried! I just want to be healed of this and live a happy normal life! Do you think it will work out for me? I NEED A LOT OF PRAYER!!!
Left by lk1234 on Sep 10, 2008 11:43 AM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

lk1234 You will make it!! You will be so relieved when you find someone you can confide in and bring this struggle to the light. I had the same fear, but my need for healing out weighed the fear of rejection. I am sorry I have not gotten back to you sooner. You are an overcomer!! Invite God into this struggle and take a deep breath and reach out. It is like bungy jumping!! God loves you so much and He wants you to be free. You are being tormented and that is an awful place to be. Hang in there and I will be praying!!
Left by SydneyJohnson on Oct 05, 2008 8:13 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

How does a christian discuss the reality of people who are born with unclear sexual identity, hermorphadites, those who are assigned their sexual gender due to genetic issues? My only answer has been we are in a fallen world and God's word still applies no matter what state we are born in...but how hard and how sad and how much we need compassion and love for one another. Thanks
Left by chancelinda on Nov 11, 2008 3:19 PM

# RE: Set Free From Same-Sex Attraction

I do not think people are created gay, but I do think that people can be born with sexual identity confusion. I believe that we can be emotionally wounded in the womb as innocent babies. When we are born, satan, the opportunist that he is, attacks these wounds and creates lies that can "feel" like truth. My sexual identity was attacked in the womb, and I believed I was born gay. Satan is after us from the time of conception. I was not created gay. Now those born with both sets of sex organs due to genetic issues is heartbreaking, and yes, they need lots of love and compassion as do those struggling with their sexual identity. We need to be Jesus with skin on for this is such a tough road to go down. We do live in a brief, fallen world and I look forward to eternity where our struggles will be no more. Thanks for writing.
Left by Sydney Johnson on Nov 13, 2008 4:06 PM