Monday, October 06, 2008
We have got to settle within our hearts what we really believe God is saying on this subject. If we do not, then we will continue to leave the door cracked for satan to come in and make us doubt the word of God. Satan and the world will have us believing that freedom from the struggle of unwanted same sex attraction is impossible. BUT, what does the Bible say and what do we really believe about this possibility.
Here is the challenge:
WHAT DO WE REALLY, I MEAN REALLY, BELIEVE THE BIBLE SAYS ABOUT:
1. Homosexuality
2. Freedom from this struggle
May the Lord give us all great revelation as we search the scripture for TRUTH!
Continue to fight the good fight, and invite the Lord to take authority over all areas of your life.
Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson
Tuesday, September 23, 2008
There are two articles I recommend you read. One is When Christians Come Out of the Closet and the other one is An Ex-Gay Speaks Out.
Satan is a liar and a deceiver. What do you think we as Christians need to do to keep from being deceived? How are we to respond to our brothers and sisters in Christ who are trapped in a web of lies? There but by the grace of God go I.
Any of us at anytime can be deceived and bound. We must stay vigilant in our walk with Christ. Our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities. By locking our shields together, challenging each other and supporting each other in our walk, we can defeat the enemy. We cannot fight satan alone.
The first article will break your heart. I am looking forward to reading and discussing your responses. Stay strong in the Lord.
Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson
There are two articles I recommend you read. One is When Christians Come Out of the Closet and the other one is An Ex-Gay Speaks Out.
Satan is a liar and a deceiver. What do you think we as Christians need to do to keep from being deceived? How are we to respond to our brothers and sisters in Christ who are trapped in a web of lies? There but by the grace of God go I.
Any of us at anytime can be deceived and bound. We must stay vigilant in our walk with Christ. Our fight is not against flesh and blood, but against principalities. By locking our shields together, challenging each other and supporting each other in our walk, we can defeat the enemy. We cannot fight satan alone.
The first article will break your heart. I am looking forward to reading and discussing your responses. Stay strong in the Lord.
Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson
Tuesday, September 09, 2008
How does one deal with the “loneliness of accepting that there is to be no intimate relationship in one’s life?” Great question from a blogger and a struggle I have had to wrestle with in my own life. Let’s look at several definitions from Webster’s Dictionary:
1) Loneliness – solitary; standing by oneself
2) Intimate – innermost; familiar; closely related; close; an intimate friend
3) Intimacy – state of being intimate; sexual relations
4) Friend – one attached to another by esteem and affection; an intimate associate; supporter
My question to God has been, “If you made me a relational and sexual being then how am I to handle this as a single person who has been freed from homosexuality?” How do ALL singles, widows, and widowers handle this?
For me, I had a hole in my soul that needed to be filled with a relationship. After reading these definitions, how do you think God wants us to fill this void in our lives? What is true intimacy? This will be our discussion question for the week.
Remember, this blog is a safe place to be real with your feelings. God Bless you all and looking forward to your responses.
Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson
Monday, August 25, 2008
Several blogs have talked about readers being tempted by same sex attractions, yet being able to resist and not fall into homosexual sin. Praise the Lord you have stayed pure! This has made me reflect on why I fell into the trap of this temptation.
Ever since I can remember I have always struggled with homosexuality. I would cry out to God to take these attractions away, but they seemed to get stronger and stronger. I in turn, got madder and madder at God for not healing my sexuality. I remember getting ready for class one morning and while taking a shower, I just broke down sobbing asking the Lord to please take these feelings away. I felt like they were over taking me. And nothing happened. I made a conscience decision to put my Bible on the shelf and have my first experience. I wish I had never opened the door to this bondage. Why? Why did I give in?
So why did I not reach out for help when I was in middle or high school? Why could I not bring this into the light? I told no one about my struggle. No one. I kept my thoughts and same sex attractions in the dark and never reached out to anyone. Satan had me right where he wanted—isolated and thinking I was the only one who struggled and thought the way I did. How could I possibly love the Lord? I could not confide in my family because one night I heard them say during a TV program that “those people are sick.” I was one of those people. Now, I know that I was not sick, just deeply emotionally wounded.
Here are some reasons why I choose not to reach out for help: 1) Anger-- I was so angry at God, especially for not helping me. 2) Fear—I was so afraid of being rejected and abandoned by family and friends. 3) Pride—I had to keep up my image of having it all together. I did not need someone else’s help. I and my family had no problems. Satan is such a liar. He takes great pleasure in destroying our relationship with our Heavenly Father.
The Lord has restored all the years I lost while living in sin, but I regret making the choice to enter Satan’s traps. I am so sorry and wish I had received help in my teen years. Please reach out to someone for help. Whether you have fallen or not, it is never too late! God wants to set you free from the bondage of same sex attractions. Do not let the enemy have anymore ground in your life. We need each other to fight the battle of principalities and sin. God Bless you all! Reach out TODAY.
Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson
P.S, Check out this powerful video
Thursday, August 07, 2008
How do we do this and not compromise our morals? How do we love others struggling with say alcohol, anger, gossip, pre-marital sex, pornography and the list goes on. Is loving someone struggling with same sex attractions any different? We seem to do okay with loving others with “regular” sins, but for some reason we think loving the homosexual sends the message that their sin is okay. First thing we have to do is see the person separate from their sin. We are to love the one struggling unconditionally. Ask God to help you see them as He sees them and then pray without ceasing for that person.
Pray for opportunities to talk about Jesus and how much He loves them. Do not focus on their homosexuality, but keep drawing them to Jesus by the example of your life with God. Show them a relationship with the Lord Almighty they will want. It is not our jobs to save them and set them free, but it is our responsibility to love them to Jesus. The pressure is on God to do the rest.
Some sins have consequences that are more serious than others, but ALL sin separates us from God. Romans 3:23 says “…for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God…” Homosexuality seems worse than hatred, but both hurt our relationship with God. The consequences are more serious for homosexuality, but they are both sin. If you are having trouble loving people struggling with this sin, give God your heart and ask Him to soften it. Read I Corinthians Chapter 13 on love. Substitute the word God in for love and listen to how it reads. Stanton Jones of Wheaton College said this: “If you cannot empathize with the homosexual person because of fear of, or revulsion to them, then you are failing our Lord.”
For me, I just wanted to be loved unconditionally. I needed to be loved just the way I was. I was so afraid of rejection that I could not tell anybody of my struggle. Eventually my unwanted desires grew so strong that I gave into them. Then I started thinking my sin was not so bad after all. When we keep giving into sin, it becomes like our favorite pair of worn jeans—the more you wear them, the more comfortable they become. But God kept gently touching my heart. He has given us a wonderful gift of free will. I had to make a decision to respond to His love by reaching out for help, or I could just keep living my lifestyle the way I was and make it seem right. See, it was Jesus’ love through others that brought me back.
Sometimes love boundaries will have to be set. For example, if you have a friend who asks you to buy a 12 pack of beer and they struggle with alcoholism, you would tell them you love them, but you would not buy the beer. Let’s look at a situation involving homosexuality. Say your sister is having a civil union ceremony with her partner and you are invited.
How would you lovingly set a boundary that does not compromise truth? Sis, I love you very much, but you know I do not believe this is the best Jesus has for your life. I will not be attending your ceremony, but I would love for us to go to lunch next week.
There are numbers of different situations that can occur. Pray. Ask for wisdom and discernment from Christian friends, but most of all set the boundaries in love. If you have any situations you want to talk about, please feel free to blog.
God bless you all!
Redeemed,
Sydney Johnson
Thursday, July 10, 2008
Being attracted to the same sex was just as normal and natural to me as it was for a man and woman to be attracted to each other. I did not want to be drawn to the same sex, in fact, I do not think anybody feels elated with the discovery of their homosexual feelings, but for me it was all I had ever known.
I tried really hard to be a heterosexual. I dated and thought if only I would get married, have 2.5 children and live in a house with a white picket fence, then that would “cure” my homosexual desires.
My conversation with God went something like this: God, I am trying to be something I am not. If homosexuality is really wrong, then please take these intense desires away from me!!! Please, in my heart of hearts, I do not want to be gay, but this is all I have ever known and it feels so right! Why God? Why me? I cannot tell anybody about this struggle! I can’t! I have heard friends and family members saying “those people are sick” and I am one of those people! Why won’t you help me? Am I sick? God, I am so afraid of being rejected. I just cannot tell anyone. I can’t! End of conversation.
I went off to college still pleading with God to free me. Finally I’d had it! I told God if he was not going to heal me, then I must have been born this way, and I just could not and would not fight these desires anymore!! God, take a hike! Hence, I had my first homosexual experience my Sophomore year in college. What a relief!! I felt loved, secure, and connected. I could breathe again. Yea!! I must have been born this way. It felt so right. So, for the next 10 to 12 years, I lived secretly in same sex relationships.
Now, remember, at one point I had God and no relationship and had NO PEACE. Now I had a relationship and no God, and guess what– NO PEACE. Somehow I needed to bring the two together. As long as God was first in my life and I could back up my homosexuality with the Bible, then I would embrace my sexuality and be at peace.
So I started searching. I talked with people who seemed content with God and their homosexuality. I went to several gay churches and to my disappointment, they seemed to worship their sexuality and the right to love who they wanted to more than God. I really did not want to give up my homosexuality. I wanted it to be right.
I then started going to a Christian counselor and he told me about a group called Exodus International where people had actually found freedom from homosexuality. (Now freedom does not mean they were all married, but they were no longer in bondage and controlled by their sexuality.) You mean I was not born this way! Then where did these intense homosexual desires come from?
My search to make my sexuality right led me to Virginia Beach and a program called Living Waters. Going through this program took me back to many childhood memories – way back– (no wonder I had felt this way at such an early age) and I began to get in touch with very deep and painful emotional wounds. The Lord began to reveal the lies I had bought into and why I was reacting the way I did. This was and is an extremely painful yet freeing process.
Because I had such a hard time wanting to walk out of the lifestyle, I would pray Philippians 2:13 “ for it is God who works in me to will and to act according to his good purpose.” God, please give me the desire to want to walk away, and then give me the strength to do so. When I finally swallowed my pride and decided to bring my struggle into the light, I found a personal relationship with Jesus Christ along with a lot of supportive, loving friends who have helped me heal and kept me accountable. My identity is now found in Jesus Christ, and no longer in that one person. Who I am does not depend on who I am with. You see, I had made my need to be loved my god, instead of allowing God to be my love. What a difference! God is love, not love is God.
Sin is sin. What sin are you a slave to? There is freedom this side of heaven. Romans 8:37 says, “No, in all these things we are more than conquerors through him who loved us.” You cannot set yourself free. God’s truth and his love will set the captive free! I used to think people could not change, but I am living proof. Is change easy? Absolutely not!! In fact, walking out and staying out of my sin has been the hardest and most painful experience of my life, but worth every tear I have shed. I would not trade the joy, freedom and relationship with my Jesus for anything. I am no longer a slave to my sexuality. I Corinthians 6:11 says, “And that is what some of you WERE. But you were washed, and you were sanctified, and you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ...” Amen.
Praise the Lord for giving me the desire, strength, and courage to walk away.
To God be all the glory!
Tuesday, June 24, 2008
Sex! So whose idea was it in the first place? Our God Almighty is the expert on the subject because he is the one who created it. He made man and woman to be sexual beings and He wants us to enjoy this gift He has given us.
Sex is powerful and wonderful! God knew this, so he set a parameter for healthy sexual intimacy. His parameter states that sex should be a very special and sacred love act between a husband and a wife. This boundary is not to inhibit us, but is to protect us and free us to enjoy sex to the fullest. Sex is God’s wedding gift to a married couple.
If God created sex, then what’s the problem? Satan is distorting and deceiving us about this precious gift God has given us. Satan is a liar and a deceiver. Hear one of his many lies our society believes: “It is my right to have sex with anyone I’m attracted to and/or care about.” Lust, lack of self-control, and this right to be intimate with anybody, anytime is our societies’ idea of sexual freedom.
Where is this idea getting us? Our society is obsessed with sex. Sexual sin is rampant and spreading like wild fire. Our teens are having babies. Sexual diseases are becoming a part of many people’s lives. Pre-marital sex and homosexuality is becoming the norm. Pornography is destroying marriages. Abortion is just another form of birth control. God have mercy on us! We have become so desensitized to our sexual sin. Lies from the enemy are becoming destructive truths. In fact, we are arrogantly saying it is up to each individual to have sex whenever and with whoever he/she wishes to.
Christians and non-Christians are being bound and mastered by their sexual desires. Sexual sin deadens one’s ears to hear God’s voice and hardens one’s heart to know His great love for us. This is bondage not freedom. Satan is even attacking married couples and their sexual relationships. Lot’s of couples are not even having sex and enjoying each other intimately. I think this so grieves our Father’s heart.
There is no hierarchy in sexual sin. Sin is sin and it is destructive. The intention of this blog is to open up a dialog about one specific area of sexual sin – homosexuality. Please know there is no condemnation towards anyone struggling with this sexual sin.
My name is Sydney Johnson and at one point in my life, I was deceived and trapped in the homosexual lifestyle. Who am I you say? I am your neighbor next door. Your brother or your sister and the list go on. My heart is to share my testimony, open up my life’s struggles, and answer questions in order to bring hope and freedom to those wrestling with this very tough issue. By the grace of my Lord and Savior, and the support of many loving friends, I am no longer a slave to my sexual desires. I want to encourage you to start your journey towards freedom in Christ by searching for Him and answers to your questions. You can hear His voice and know intimately His love for you in the midst of this struggle.
So with all this said, let’s get those computers inputting your thoughts, ideas, and questions about homosexuality. We must bring this subject out into the open and into the light or else the world; the flesh or the devil will dictate what we believe. I am so excited about our upcoming exchanges. God Bless you all!
Redeemed Hallelujah!
Sydney Johnson