I was bored on the YMCA elliptical, so I picked up copies of several pop magazines and began to read. What I found in article after article was praise given to celebrities for taking moments out of their busy lives to parent their children (Never mind that Hollywood sees marriage as optional in the raising of children!). The more I read, the more I thought this was a sort of spoof on parenting. Sadly, it was not. One major star was praised for taking a few moments to help his daughter learn to walk. Another occasionally took her son to the park. Still another dressed up her child for a shopping trip with mom. Really? This is news?
It was the tone of the articles that disturbed me. It was as if these people were doing their children some huge favor by spending moments with them. I'm sorry, isn't that what parenting is all about? Yet, this portrayal of celebrity parenting relegated children to accessory status. Apparently, the famous are far too busy and important to be bothered by their children, unless they have a few moments of down time.
To be fair, this probably doesn’t represent how celebrities really view their children. Hopefully, they are as angry as I am in terms of how their family life is portrayed. The bigger issue, however, is this, "What message does this send to the larger public about parenting and fame?" It’s OK to ignore your children most of the time because their dysfunction can be turned into a reality show? The more money and status you have, the less involved with children you need to be? Children are a convenience you trot out for your entertainment?
Why would any magazine reduce children to accessory status? Maybe you think I am overreacting, but a lot of people read these magazines. All children need involved parents who are in tune with their lives. Even when parenting is frustrating, inconvenient, and you think nothing you do makes a difference, know that is does. Research bears this out. So no matter what the pop message is about the status of children in families, make your kids a top priority, not an accessory you pull out to look good or to give you an ego boost. Children need parents who go beyond the daily tasks of life and affirm, love, and validate them regularly. Don’t allow our cultural obsession with celebrity to impact the way you think about your children.
Does the way media portray celebrity children impact your thinking at all?
On the road again...
Dr. Linda will speak at the Ruth Graham and Friends conference, January 29-30, 2010 in Midland Texas, Crestwood Baptist Church. For more information, go to: www.ruthgrahamandfriends.org.