By Beth Livingston
The days of purchasing nude magazines or frequenting topless bars have been trumped by Internet Porn. For no monetary charge at all and in the privacy of one's home or office, the world of sexual sin has the door wide open beckoning men and women, boys and girls to come in. Either you or someone you know has already experienced some kind of trouble in a relationship over an Internet Porn issue - many marriages and families have broken up because someone became consumed in Porn world. Why is this wrecking homes? Why are people getting sucked into it like it's a drug or something - lying and covering it up, hoping they won't get caught?
Michael Leahy describes his initial reaction to his first visual encounter of a topless woman featured on a playing card back in the 60s. In his book, "Porn Nation," he says, "The first time I set eyes on her, I could feel this rush of energy running through my veins. Like the rush of adrenaline I'd feel sometimes after making a big hit in football, only different. I liked the feeling." Later he recalls still seeing a vivid picture of the woman in his mind that didn't go away. He says, "And that adrenaline rush. WOW! What a feeling! ... I had been part of something that was wrong, but I liked what I was feeling." This was the beginning of Leahy's 30 year "recreational use" of pornography that eventually consumed his life and cost him everything: his marriage, family, job, home, friends, and his reputation at his church and in his neighborhood.
This man hit rock bottom, just as hard as any crack cocaine addict. Then he went in search of how he got there as part of his quest to get out of the pit of depression and learn to live again.
What Leahy found when he went searching for how something got hold of him so deeply that it cost him everything were some ugly truths. One of these truths was that he was a compulsive liar - a bothersome truth that often accompanies compulsive behaviors and addictions. Pretending to be someone he was not; living one life in front of his peers and a markedly different life in private was comfortable for him. If ever there was suspicion about his sexual conduct, he lied. He rarely reacted to any feelings of guilt because he lived in denial.
Leahy made a declaration to himself when he married his wife that he would be a changed man who would not indulge his habits of looking at porn and lusting after women. He truly believed himself. They were basing their marriage on biblical principles and his previous sexual behaviors would not fit in. Unfortunately, Leahy found out very soon that he was lying to himself and his bride.
He speaks of "drinking in images" of other women, even on their wedding night. He describes it as "picturing the women naked in his mind and imagining himself having sex with them ... a way of feeding himself lustful thoughts to fantasize on later." He tried to hide it from his wife that he was checking out other women, but she knew. She didn't know what he was thinking, however. Fantasizing over other women decreased his desire for his wife and their sex life went downhill. He discovered this ugly truth: "she [his wife] was only one woman, and there is one thing that one woman can never provide ... the endless variety that porn provides."
Leahy's story replicates worldwide and not only with men. Women also fall into sexual sin and self-indulgence. The problem existed before the Internet, but has spread like a pandemic since the Internet has become part of everyday life. What can we do? How can we protect our families, our marriages? There are support groups and accountability programs as well as counseling available. But the best thing any of us can do is to agree with Jesus Christ that porn is not something he'd be looking at and just say NO to porn. Don't give the devil a foothold. He'll do his best to destroy all that is dear to us.
Are you having trouble in your home because of a porn addiction in your midst? This blog is a safe place for hurting people to share their struggles.
(You can always call the 700 Club prayer counselors at 1-800-759-0700 if you would like someone to pray with you now.)