By Dr. Paul Hardy
Founder, Recovery for Life
Bill was great at football in high school and eventually received a full ride scholarship. Highly competitive and driven, he took a good job after college and began to settle in. After a series of financial reversals and severe knee pain, he fell into a deep depression. Highly uncharacteristic for him, he sought help from his doctor. Before he knew it, he found himself going to three different specialists begging each one for prescriptions. He has become addicted to oxycontin. By the way, he teaches 5th grade boys Sunday School.
Lynn called on the phone after finding our recovery web site. “Could you please help me with my son? He has been a crack addict for years and we just don’t know what to do. We have begged him to go to rehab and he refuses. He spends many evenings in our garage smoking pot and sometimes he brings in several friends. We don’t know if we should kick him out, or even how we would. We can’t just put him out on the streets. Should we continue to try to give him the help he desperately needs? He’s 38-years-old.”
The stories above are true (names have been changed). They are typical of the many stories of people who find themselves in lifestyles that they never intended to live. Life seems to be going well, but you know there’s something nagging at you inside. This thing, this inner drive takes over. It almost seems to have a life of its own. When you least expect it, there it is, talking to you, convincing you that you have to “feed the urge.” “It’s a rainy day, it’s your birthday, it’s any old day,” and you feel have to feed the beast. You have to get back to that same familiar feeling. . . you’re addicted! Are you nodding your head in agreement?
Here are three reasons people get addicted:
1) Certain people appear to have an addictive personality. Any simple habit in their lives can give way to obsession. The obsession develops habits that become very difficult to break.
2) Dual-diagnosis. Hiding behind the primary addiction frequently exists an emotional-psychological driver. A heroin addict may be driven by depression. An alcoholic may be numbing the pain of a learning disorder.
3) Genetics. Individuals who come from a long family history of various forms of addictions may find that they have the predisposition to becoming addicted themselves.
You may sense that one or more of these factors describes how you or someone you know got addicted. Is it difficult for you to own the idea that you or someone you love is addicted?
Many addicts deny that they are addicted at all. Once they own up to it, life will really never be the same again. Coming to terms with saying that we’re dependent can be very hard for a tough-willed individual who would never want to appear weak. This denial burdens a person's spirit. The spiritual aspects of addiction have to do with acts of worship which become a form of idolatry. It is the leaning of the heart toward an obsession with anything other than God. The addict is not aware of this; he or she is simply acting out, thinking that they will somehow miraculously get better one day. The truth is, the denying act keeps them from the help they desperately need.
We have two choices when it comes to denial. We can let the addict go down to the depths of rock bottom and come out begging for help, or we can surround the addict with realistic consequences that put the pressure on and accelerate the process. If you'd like to discuss these options or any other topics brought up here, please post your comments here.
This blog entry was written by Dr. Paul Hardy, a champion for the cause of broken and addicted people. For the last 12 years, he and his wife Suzie have dedicated their lives to helping people break free from the bondages of addictions and compulsive behaviors. Together, they founded Recovery for Life, a non-profit that ministers to over 300 people a week in the Virginia Beach, Tidewater area. He is also the Director of the Life Counseling and Recovery Center of Eastern Virginia. Visit their Recovery for Life website (formerly Recovery for the City) www.r4ci.com