I am Beth Livingston. I began drinking at age 12. Only my friends knew. By senior year in college, I tried every high that was offered and never got in trouble. I still got good grades; a functioning addict. By my 30s, I went to AA, but kept using. However, I did seek a relationship with Christ.

That made the difference - I am free today! This blog is for people to discuss whatever addictions or habits are hurting them, to exchange struggles and victories and to pray for each other.

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The Second Step

“We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.”

When I read this step from Alcoholics Anonymous, initially I feel a bit uncomfortable. In the first step, we admitted we were powerless over our addiction or compulsive behavior and that our lives had become unmanageable. Makes sense. We can’t stop on our own = it’s out of control. In this second step, the goal of “sanity” enters the picture. Hey, wait a minute! I never said I was lacking in sanity!

Let’s take a look at insanity by asking ourselves some questions*. What things did we do in our addiction that we can hardly believe when we look back at them? Did we put ourselves or others in dangerous situations? How did we behave in ways of which we’re now ashamed? Did we quit jobs, avoid family, leave friendships or church because those things interfered with our addictions?

When I think of the risks that I took behind the wheel and under the influence, literally seeing double, I shudder. That was crazy, senseless behavior, but typical of an addicted person. I could have killed someone. How about the choice to smoke or take illegal drugs while my young children were at home with a babysitter? Was that sane? I thought it was. After all, the responsibility for child care was checked off in my mind. In fact, my actions could have resulted in me going to jail and my children being put in foster care. That just seemed too far-fetched, so I ignored it. Disregarding the truth is not smart or sane. Now that my children are young adults and hindsight is so clear, my thinking that they would not be affected by Mommy having her “night out” was whacked out too. Oh, so much restoring to sanity needed to take place in my life.

Do you have any trouble with the goal of being restored to sanity? You’ve admitted you are powerless over your addiction or behavior; are you ready to admit your need to be restored to sanity? What will sanity look like for you?

What could restore us all to sanity? The second step says, “A Power greater than ourselves.” No power other than Jesus Christ, our Redeemer, our Savior, our Lord can restore us to sanity. There is no greater power. There is no other God. He is so capable and so willing!

However, not everyone believes in Christ. It can be a scary thing to believe in a God that we cannot see. What fears might you have about believing in Christ? Has your belief in God and hope for recovery grown since you started trying to change? What things have you done that you feel are an indication that you are trusting God for your recovery?

For me, it was and still is reading the Bible, praying, and believing that God is able and willing to work this out of my life, as well as, being truthful with myself, God and others.

Belief is the key. If I believe a chair will hold me up, then I can sit in that chair. If I believe that God will help me get free from my addiction, then I can seek Him and keep seeking Him. This is a process for most of us. That’s why we call them “steps.” Believing God loves you and is bigger than your addiction is a great step. Are you taking this step? What can you tell others about your personal story in taking the step to believe that God is greater than you and can restore you to sanity?

*Used with permission from materials provided at Recovery for the City .

Print     Email to a Friend    posted on Monday, November 02, 2009 3:24 PM

Comments on this post

# RE: The Second Step

Thank you Beth, for your postings. Insanity can't describe the effects of food addition and the deceit of anorexia/bulemia. Thank God that He reached down and first of all offered his forgiveness/salvation/love/and security to me. Returning to sanity is a long process. I had begun this habit at age 13 and am 50 to date. Still struggle with the insanity of it all at times. The only way I find that sanity is in my mind and heart and life is getting a daily fill of TRUTH, THE WORD OF GOD. Without the Bible and the Eternal Truth from God, I would be completing wrecked. God's word is the only sanity in my world and this world. Praise Our God for the Grace and Mercy he gave us in Writing His Word and sending us His Eternal Living Word, Our Lord Jesus Christ to live in Us. Praise his name. Dixie
Left by Dixie on Nov 03, 2009 6:48 AM