I am Beth Livingston. I began drinking at age 12. Only my friends knew. By senior year in college, I tried every high that was offered and never got in trouble. I still got good grades; a functioning addict. By my 30s, I went to AA, but kept using. However, I did seek a relationship with Christ.

That made the difference - I am free today! This blog is for people to discuss whatever addictions or habits are hurting them, to exchange struggles and victories and to pray for each other.

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Monday, November 16, 2009

The Fourth Step: Can I tell Right from Wrong?

“We made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.” Alcoholics Anonymous

Each step away from our addiction or destructive behavior is a step closer to looking at the real problem – US! We need to come face-to-face with our character defects, our emotional makeup, and identify our flawed thinking.

This is not the time that we start pointing the finger at our parents, our spouses, our circumstances. That would be an inventory of our excuses and justifications for our addiction. This is entirely different. It takes work!

If you are doing inventory for a retail business, you do a thorough item by item count of what you have in stock. When taking a moral inventory of ourselves, we identify the rights and wrongs in our lives. For example, if I’m spending a good portion of my income on my addiction and failing to pay bills, repay loans, and not buying enough healthy food for myself and my family, I’ve identified several moral shortcomings. This inventory would include selfishness, irresponsible behavior, deception, misplaced priorities, and negligence.

When you begin your inventory, what are the most obvious moral shortcomings you can identify? Are you violent? Have you hurt people with your words or your callousness? Each of us is different and each of us have moral defects whether we are able to admit it or not.

Conducting this inventory becomes the cornerstone and foundation for rebuilding our lives. We see what’s not right and why it’s not right. We do the best we can to isolate our behavior without blaming others and holding onto resentment or the victim mentality. Once we have our first inventory list, we have a starting point for change.

Pride can often be a huge obstacle for some people in defining their moral issues because at this point in recovery it is common for us to say that the alcohol, the crack, the internet porn, or whatever our addiction causes the moral defect and believe that once we abstain from our addiction, there will no longer be a problem. The end result of that thinking is a “dry drunk.” This is someone who no longer uses, but has all the personality traits as if they still did. How do you feel about this? Do you think that the problem exists in the substance or within the person?

Are you ready and willing to search your actions and life choices and begin your moral inventory?

If recovery ended with the inventory and there were no further steps, we’d be awfully depressed. However, just like the retail store, items that don’t sell well are identified and eventually phased out to make room on the shelves for items that do sell well. It is in this phase that we figure out what we do that doesn’t serve us well and needs to phase out of our lives. Through faith and adopting new moral codes, we can begin to see small victories that set us on the path to freedom.

What has God shown you that you need to admit is a moral problem in your life? This is a safe place to share and begin your inventory.

posted @ Monday, November 16, 2009 10:39 PM | Feedback (0)

Monday, November 09, 2009

Step Three – Decision Time!

This is not an easy step. It’s a battle of the wills. Our enemy, the devil, beckons us to accept defeat and give up. Our flesh sometimes craves the old behavior pattern. It is only when our lives and our wills are safely entrusted to God that we will be victorious.

posted @ Monday, November 09, 2009 11:50 PM | Feedback (2)

Monday, November 02, 2009

The Second Step

“We came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity.” When I read this step from Alcoholics Anonymous, initially I feel a bit uncomfortable. In the first step, we admitted we were powerless over our addiction or compulsive behavior and that our lives had become unmanageable. Makes sense. We can’t stop on our own = it’s out of control. In this second step, the goal of “sanity” enters the picture. Hey, wait a minute! I never said I was lacking in sanity!

posted @ Monday, November 02, 2009 3:24 PM | Feedback (1)

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

Taking the First Step

Maybe there's someone else who's been convicted in their heart of a need to seek God's help in getting rid of a behavior through the twelve steps just like people with addictions. I can testify that there are many, many people who have found that God can use these basic steps to cleanse more than addictions from our lives. There are people in our group working through steps to get rid of anger, codependency, pornography, pride, and overeating (to name a few). What does God want you to get rid of

posted @ Tuesday, October 27, 2009 11:13 AM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, October 20, 2009

Profile of a Porn Addict

Dr. Paul's profile of a porn addict: He is 12-years-old and began experimenting with looking through search engines. Sex and sexual terms are most searched for in the internet! By the time he is 30, he has years of uncontrollable lust. He may have never acted out illegally, but the pressure is on. The family has discovered the secret and it’s time to change!

posted @ Tuesday, October 20, 2009 11:23 AM | Feedback (2)

Tuesday, October 13, 2009

Quitting Again?

For those who are trying to quit and have a loved one pulling for you, what have you found to be helpful? What have you found to be annoying? If we all want the same result, freedom for the one in bondage, how can we best go about this in our relationships?

posted @ Tuesday, October 13, 2009 11:38 AM | Feedback (1)

Thursday, July 23, 2009

What's in YOUR Cooler?

When we gave our lives over to Jesus Christ, the beer didn’t disappear. He met us and saved us just like we were, drunks and all the other stuff. He walked with us as we learned His truths about many things, but never demanded that we give something up right then or he’d leave us. In fact, He promised to never leave us or forsake us.

posted @ Thursday, July 23, 2009 11:11 AM | Feedback (5)

Thursday, July 02, 2009

Pain Killers – The Respectable Addiction

A person usually begins taking a narcotic during the treatment of a legitimate medical problem that needs more than an aspirin to kill the pain. And if you have a chronic pain condition, the heavy duty pain killers that work (namely narcotics like Vicodin, OxyContin, Percocet, Demerol) become your sole source of life without pain. And since they’re prescribed by a doctor, covered by health insurance, effective for pain relief and available at the pharmacy – why not take them?

posted @ Thursday, July 02, 2009 11:10 AM | Feedback (7)

Wednesday, June 24, 2009

The Double Life of a Sunday School Teacher

My life was still steeped in the addiction, so the Lord laid it on my heart to voluntarily step down from the ministry before any damage was done to the young hearts He was building up for His Kingdom by my secret life being exposed. This was one of the toughest things I ever did. My heart broke over leaving a ministry that I loved and broke even more when I realized that something had such a hold on me that I would give up leading these beautiful young children because of it.

posted @ Wednesday, June 24, 2009 9:17 AM | Feedback (15)

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Must You Call Me Addicted?

I never understood why we had to say we were alcoholics just because we drank a lot. I didn’t think I was addicted. In fact, I really thought I could quit any of those things anytime I wanted. I just chose to do them. But, when the time came that I did try to quit, I had trouble with each of them. Have you ever been there? Where you thought you could give something up when you chose to and then found out you couldn’t? Are you still there?

posted @ Wednesday, April 15, 2009 11:07 AM | Feedback (24)