September 2011 Entries
“I’m so discouraged,” Jill told to me during a recent Marriage Intensive. “Look at him,” she said critically. “He doesn’t even look at me when I’m talking.” Jess, her husband of 20 years, shrugged his shoulders and turned away. “Can’t do anything right,” he muttered. “When I hear her say things like that, I just want to quit. What’s the point if she’s always disappointed in me?”
“When I try to get emotionally close to him, he panics,” Sharon said to me during a recent marriage counseling session. “It’s like he’s a scared little boy, unsure of what to do.” Her husband, Scott, looked at us blankly. “I suppose it’s true,” he said slowly. “She seems to know what she’s doing, but I don’t even know the first thing to say or do. I’m out of my element.”
“I know I’m not being very nice to him,” Janice said to me, glaring over at her husband during a counseling session. “I’m always so mad at him there just isn’t any room in my brain for being nice. I’m filled up with anger.” I looked at this sad, distraught forty-year old woman, reflecting on her words as her husband glared back at her.
“She always seems to be in the doldrums,” Don said solemnly during a recent counseling session, referring to his wife of 20 years. “What do you mean?”, I asked. “She works about 50 hours a week and mothers our two youngest kids,” he said. “I know she’s tired, but our life together isn’t fun anymore.”