August 2011 Entries
My computer froze the other day. With several programs running simultaneously, it was like my computer suddenly said, ‘Stop everything. I’m not doing anything more’. The same thing happened with my wife Christie and me as we were having a heated conversation. Just as I was getting amped up to press my point, she stopped and said, “I’m taking a time out..."
“What about the way she treats me?” Ken said angrily, looking to me for help. His girlfriend, Elizabeth, had just shared her frustrations with him during their counseling session. Elizabeth winced as Ken continued to escalate. “I don’t know why it’s always about what I’ve done wrong. How can she sit here and go down a list of every mistake I’ve ever made. She makes just as many as me, you know.”
“I’m so tired of the way my wife treats me,” Jim, an older man, wrote to me recently. “We’ve been married for more than 30 years, and nothing really has changed. She’s never respected me, complains about me all the time, and we fight constantly.” I continued reading the email, looking for a critical piece of information that was strangely absent. Nowhere did he say what he and his wife had done to end their patterns of complaining.