February 2010 Entries
Zeb and his wife, Debra had been separated for several months after years of conflict had left them both feeling unable to remain together. They were fighting each other -- instead of fighting for their marriage. Feeling profoundly discouraged, they had separated to “get some peace”.
“When is enough, enough?” the woman sitting across from me asked, appearing tired and drawn. “I’ve been treated badly for years. I’ve watched my husband be mean-spirited and angry, talk sarcastic with me and even call me names. How long do I have to take this kind of treatment?”
There is a time in every marriage when a couple hits a crisis. Even the best marriages struggle sometime. Being prepared for such crises, or at least knowing how to effectively respond to them, is critical. A call recently from a young man reminded me of this importance.
Codependence. We’ve heard about it, but it often takes forms we don’t quickly recognize. It can take the form of settling for something we know in our hearts is wrong. It can take the form of saying ‘yes’ when we want to say ‘no'. It can take the form of overlooking some troubling behavior, when inside our resentment grows.