December 2009 Entries
A young man named Darin came to see me recently, having been referred to me for counseling by his pastor and his wife. While Darin wasn’t all that excited to be in counseling, admitting to feeling apprehensive, he also indicated he was glad for the opportunity to talk about himself. “I’m not sure what I think of counseling,” he said cautiously, “but I know there have got to be better ways to express myself.”
Many marriages continue to falter today, but in record numbers it is women who are leaving their marriages. This has men, and society in general, baffled. What is going wrong? Why are women choosing to leave their mates? The reasons for women leaving their marriages are complex, and I certainly don’t have the final answer. However, I have a few thoughts I want us to consider.
I’d like to say as a Clinical Psychologist and man “of a certain age,” that my wife and I never fight. But, that would be untrue. I’d like to say that each and every time we begin to fight, we’re able to put on the brakes, call a time out, and pull out of the downward spiral. That also would be untrue.
There are few things we take for granted as much as honesty. We depend on others to be honest with us, to tell us the truth. Until or unless we’ve been betrayed, we assume people are telling us the truth. Why wouldn’t they? Truth is the bridge we walk on to create trust, an absolute essential for any relationship.