The Apostle James is clear; we are not to be fighting and quarreling. We are not to be stuck in trying to get what we want, coercing others into submitting to our point of view or will. Yet, fighting fair seems to be built upon the premise that we will fight; we just must follow some rules for how to fight fairly. But “fighting” and being “fair” about it are generally mutually exclusive.
Simply put, Karen was tired. She had lost hope that Darin would change. She had lost hope that he would become interested in her life. She wanted someone who would not only care about her life, but would champion her desires and goals. She didn’t want to beg him to read the books on improving their communication. She wanted him to seek out those books on his own and take initiative to change.