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Marriage 911

About this Blog

Dr. David Hawkins is the director of The Marriage Recovery Center and has been helping couples in crisis restore and revitalize their relationships for more than 30 years.

At The Marriage Recovery Center, Dr. Hawkins promotes '3 Days To a New Marriage, Guaranteed!' Contact TMRC for a free 20-minute consultation.

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Monday, November 17, 2014

Are You Prepared for the Next Storm to Hit Your Marriage?

Are you prepared for the next storm that may already be brewing between you and your mate? Do you have any idea what it might be and how it might present itself? Most important, are you ready for it? Many would say we should focus only on the problems of today. After all, didn’t Jesus even say that today has enough problems of its own and we need not worry about tomorrow?

posted @ Monday, November 17, 2014 4:51 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, November 04, 2014

When Was the Last Time You Were Nice to Your Spouse?

I kissed my wife goodbye this morning. No, not for good. Only for the day. But, the gesture was noticed by her. My wife, Christie, made special mention of my actions earlier this evening. “I’ve noticed you taking the recycling out and that you called to wish me a good day,” she said with a big smile. “I appreciate you calling me, even if I don’t return your call.”

posted @ Tuesday, November 04, 2014 4:11 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, September 30, 2014

Don’t Opinionate Your Mate

Stan and Jessie were a young couple seeking services from us at The Marriage Recovery Center. Both 28 years old, and only married three years, they were already in trouble. “We bicker all the time,” Jessie said, her face drawn and her words spoken slowly, barely covering her sadness. Stan sat at the end of the couch, looking at her.

posted @ Tuesday, September 30, 2014 4:43 PM | Feedback (0)

Monday, September 22, 2014

Are You Hours Away from Divorce?

It was yet another tearful farewell to a couple leaving The Marriage Recovery Center. While it was a joyful parting, their entry into work at the Center was not nearly as gentle and compassionate. Lily and Jerry had come to the Center days earlier, “hours away from divorce.” Their detached, hostile attitude toward each other reflected the truth of that statement. Barely speaking, I could sense I had my work cut out for me.

posted @ Monday, September 22, 2014 5:13 PM | Feedback (0)

Monday, September 08, 2014

Being Married to a Stairmaster

“I can’t keep up with him,” Suzanne said anxiously. “He’s all over the place, doing this thing and that thing. I feel like I’m married to a Stairmaster.” “I’m not sure I understand Suzanne,” I said. She and her husband of 15 years, Douglas, had come to The Marriage Recovery Center in a state of crisis. “It’s hard to describe,” she said. “He’s busy with a lot of different projects and I feel like I’m one more thing on his checklist...

posted @ Monday, September 08, 2014 3:50 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, August 26, 2014

Prolonged Silence Leads to Brooding Resentment

It was yet another tearful farewell to a couple leaving The Marriage Recovery Center. While it was a joyful parting, their entry into work at the Center was not nearly as gentle and compassionate. Lily and Jerry had come to the Center days earlier, “hours away from divorce.” Their detached, hostile attitude toward each other reflected the truth of that statement. Barely speaking, I could sense I had my work cut out for me.

posted @ Tuesday, August 26, 2014 2:23 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, August 19, 2014

Have a Little Fun with Your Spouse!

When was the last time you spent a weekend away with your mate? When was the last time you laughed, giggled and simply had a good time with him/ her? When I ask most couples this question, they look at me with that ‘deer in the headlight’ look. “Well, uh, does going grocery shopping count?” one asks. “Nope,” I say. “How about going to church?” the other asks. “Sounds very healthy,” I remark, “but I wouldn’t call it fun. When was the last time you had fun together?”

posted @ Tuesday, August 19, 2014 4:41 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, July 29, 2014

Know When to Say ‘When’

What is your emotional intelligence? In other words, how well do you know the right thing to say, at the right time and in the right way? No doubt you have plenty of smarts when it comes to things you enjoy. We tend to excel in areas we find interesting and pursue. But, knowing when to say ‘when’ is something most of us could use more schooling in.

posted @ Tuesday, July 29, 2014 5:13 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, July 22, 2014

Determining the Direction of the Connection

Would you like to influence your mate? Would you like to one better than that—determine the direction of the connection? If you are like most people, you answered an emphatic ‘yes.’ Of course you’d like to influence the direction of the connection. You’d like your mate to be caring, sensitive, kind and keenly interested in you. It would be frosting on the cake if they also considered you wise, witty and great looking.

posted @ Tuesday, July 22, 2014 4:10 PM | Feedback (0)

Tuesday, July 15, 2014

Are You Living from Your Core Self?

So many of the couples we see at the Marriage Recovery Center are angry, defensive or completely withdrawn from each other. There are often years of unresolved issues that have led to complete hopelessness, which is reflected in their anger and defensiveness towards each other. At the Marriage Recovery Center, we call this “reactive behavior”—coming from one’s “Protective Self”—a part of our character designed to protect ourselves, but the same part that often creates more trouble for us.

posted @ Tuesday, July 15, 2014 2:55 PM | Feedback (0)